The He in Us

I’m an outward processor. God bless my husband (who is an inward processor) and the dear friends who love me enough to patiently sit and listen as I untangle the contents of my heart when an issue arises. Depending on the depth of the issue, this is usually not a one-and-done conversation. I often need to process and re-process—to the point of ad nauseam.

I like to think of it as offering them the opportunity to live out Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Talking out loud helps me think. Interaction through conversation brings clarity. Often, I sound scattered at first, but the more I talk, the more the fog lifts. Having someone listen without quick judgment or interruption leads me to my own conclusions—many times without the other person saying much at all.

Have I tried journaling? Yes. But it’s not the same.

Usually, before I even start talking, deep down I already know the answer. It just helps to have someone sit with me while I piece together all the fragments.

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” — John 14:26

The well of my heart has been filled with the life-giving truths of God’s Word. I’ve been walking with Him long enough to know this: when I slow down and lean into the Holy Spirit who lives within me, He is always faithful to bring truth up and out into my awareness.

Today, I was processing through a heavy issue with a trusted friend.

I started with, “Hey, do you have some time to just listen while I talk this through?”

Graciously, she said yes.

I poured it all out like marbles spilling across a table—my perceptions of the situation, my concerns, my ideas about how to move forward, the tug-of-war between flesh and spirit. Part of me wanted to react in a way I knew wasn’t right. And yet, I knew better.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:26

At the end of my monologue, I asked, “Okay, that’s everything I’m thinking. What do you think?”

She simply replied, “I think what you’re thinking is right, and that’s what you should do.”

To which I blurted, “But HOW am I going to DO that?!”

Sometimes knowing what’s right doesn’t make doing it any easier.

She gently said, “You’re going to have to rely on the Holy Spirit.”

I sat in silence, letting her words sink in.

“I’m going to have to rely on the Holy Spirit,” I repeated slowly. Then with more conviction: “I’m going to have to rely on the Holy Spirit!”

It felt like such a duh moment—Christianity 101. And yet, it was the exact truth I needed. The only way forward was to lean fully on the Spirit.

My Helper. My Advocate. My Teacher. The One who leads me into truth. The One who is strong in my weakness. The One who has carried me through countless “impossible” situations before.

How quickly I forget that I am not in this alone. How easily self-sufficiency creeps in and disables me. 

Lord, help me remember.

At the end of that conversation, I felt lighter. I felt encouraged, heard, validated, and loved. And all she did was listen—and remind me of one simple truth. She didn’t quote Scripture at me. She didn’t solve the problem. She didn’t offer a dozen wise answers. And yet, the Lord used her in a powerful way.

It reminded me of something important: sometimes we disqualify ourselves from being used by God because we think we don’t know enough, aren’t wise enough, or don’t have the right experience. But that’s not what people ultimately need.

The “He” in us—the Holy Spirit—is always enough.

And that is what changes everything.