Remembering and Responding: How Gratitude Renews the Heart

It’s my favorite time of year. The air has a chill, the leaves are turned, and slowly the trees are becoming bare. I need a jacket or a coat now. I spend a lot more time in the kitchen baking recipes that I really only use in the holiday season. My children and I turn on old Bing Crosby albums on our record player in the afternoons while we sip our tea or play a game at the kitchen table. Our evenings are filled with cocoa, snuggles on the couch under our favorite blankets, and stories or movies. This time of year is filled with big family gatherings, meals around our crowded table, laughter and music, lists and decorations, and prayers for snow. But one thing I’ve noticed in recent years is that there is one thing I tend to do more often in this season than any other time of year…Remember.

I remember things like my sweet friend, who is now with Jesus, coming to stay for a month over the holidays with our family. I remember stories from my childhood of Thanksgiving dinners, visits to my cousins’ farm over the holidays, Christmas mornings, and New Year’s parties. I remember my husband asking me to marry him on Christmas Eve sixteen years ago. I remember the first Christmas we celebrated with our first child. I remember watching my aunts, grandmother, and mother plan their Black Friday shopping spree on Thanksgiving night from the time I was little until I was in college and joined them on their all-day adventure. I remember my father reading the story of Christ’s birth in Luke to us every Christmas morning before we opened presents, as my mother sipped her coffee in her robe, waiting to open those new slippers that were tucked safely under the tree. I remember holding my own sleeping newborn on Christmas Eve and thinking of Mary and what joy and love and wonder must have filled her heart as she held Jesus, our Savior, in her arms… kissing the face of God.

I remember that exact moment last Christmas Eve. All my children were asleep in bed, the presents were wrapped and under the tree, but I was still sitting on my couch enjoying the glow of the candles and Christmas tree while holding my fourth baby. All I could think of was Mary, the Mother of God. I was so overwhelmed with how gracious our Lord is that He would entrust Himself to Mary… to us… so vulnerably. So gently. So humbly. My heart filled with gratitude. And as I sit here and remember it all, my heart fills with gratitude once more.

Gratitude always begins with remembering. Every act of thanksgiving starts with remembrance — of grace received, of mercy renewed, of Christ’s finished work that holds our lives together. “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” Psalm 103:2

It is so easy in this busy time of year to not slow ourselves in order to remember. The spiritual amnesia of hurry or worry — Did I get everyone’s gifts? Did we send all the invites? Did I remember to make the reservations? Did we get the turkey yet? Do we have enough turkey? How many cookies do I need to bake for the event? What time is the choir rehearsal for the Christmas Cantata? When is the Christmas play? Where are the in-laws staying? — forgetfulness can keep us from what we are called to in every season but seems especially sweet in this season: remembrance. Remembrance anchors us firmly in reality. When forgetfulness, hurry, and worry threaten to preoccupy our thoughts, rob us of our joy, and destroy our peace, remembrance re-centers us around what is most deserving of our attention, affection, energy, and love. Jesus.

Saint Augustine once said in his work Confessions, “O my God, let me remember with gratitude and confess to thee thy mercies toward me.” I have been trying to pray Augustine’s words to God whenever I find myself getting caught up in spiritual amnesia — the worry and hurry. “Let me remember with gratitude and confess…” This remembering is not merely mental – it is worship. And nowhere is that remembrance more embodied than at the Lord’s Table.

The Table: Worship as the School of Gratitude

I don’t know your church affiliation, whether you attend a high church or low church tradition, if you’re Protestant, Catholic, or Orthodox. Some of our theological understanding on this subject may differ, and that’s okay because I don’t think that is really the point I’m trying to focus on here. Whether you view the Lord’s Table as transubstantial or the real presence or merely symbolic is not the point. The point is that our gatherings as people of God, followers of Christ, and brothers and sisters of Jesus are centered around this one thing — no matter what Christian tradition or doctrine on the bread and the wine you hold: remembrance.

Our weekly services either culminate in or are centered around this Table: remembering Christ crucified, our sins forgiven, our Savior risen. We remember. And we respond to that remembrance. The Church’s central act is literally gratitude made visible. Eucharist means thanksgiving. When we receive Christ’s body and blood, we are remembering His mercy and expressing our thanks — our gratitude becomes embodied. The Lord’s Supper is not just a ritual but the pattern of the Christian life: we come with empty hands, receive grace, give thanks, and are sent out renewed.

Irenaeus once wrote that “the Church alone offers this pure oblation to the Creator, with giving of thanks.” From the earliest days of the faith, the act of thanksgiving has been seen not merely as a polite response but as a holy offering — a movement of grace received and grace returned. In the gathered worship of the Church, gratitude becomes embodied; it takes on sound and shape in prayer, song, and sacrament. We don’t simply feel thankful — we express it, together.

Modern research quietly affirms what the early Church already knew: gratitude changes us most when it moves from inward recognition to outward expression. Studies show that when we speak our thanks or share it with others, joy deepens, bonds strengthen, and even stress markers in the body begin to ease. It seems our Creator wired us so that thanksgiving, like love, must be expressed to be complete. Just as unspoken love can wither, unexpressed gratitude never reaches maturity. Gratitude that stays silent remains incomplete; its full power unfolds in expression. When our thanks rises from our hearts to our lips — in worship, in conversation, in communion — gratitude fulfills its purpose: to join us with one another and with the Giver of every good gift.

Worship trains us to express thanks so that gratitude becomes our reflex – not a reaction. And this worship doesn’t end when the service ends. The Spirit of God intends this posture of thanksgiving and gratitude to spill into our ordinary hours – transforming how we think, feel, see, and live.

“To give thanks in all things — this is the mark of a wise soul.” — John Chrysostom

Gratitude and Renewal: Partnering with the Spirit

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6–7

The renewal of our minds begins in remembrance, is shaped by gratitude, and perfected in submission to Christ. Gratitude is the Spirit’s way of reshaping our perception of reality. I am not telling you that your outlook should be that of Pollyanna. I’m not saying that you should look through rose-colored glasses and pretend that your pain doesn’t exist or downplay the struggles you face. That isn’t gratitude, sweet friend — that is ignorance. Gratitude does not pretend the painful and ugly parts of life don’t exist; rather, it chooses to see God’s grace within them. Gratitude doesn’t deny reality — it interprets it through Christ’s resurrection.

Modern research continues to uncover what Scripture has long declared — that thanksgiving renews the mind. Studies in neuroscience and psychology show that consistent gratitude practices can actually reshape neural pathways, quieting patterns of anxiety and strengthening regions of the brain associated with joy and resilience. People who regularly give thanks report less rumination, lower stress, and greater overall well-being. It is tangible evidence of the Spirit’s renewing work within us — a glimpse of how God’s truth takes root even in our very biology. God’s Word and His ways quite literally change us from the inside out. When we practice gratitude, we aren’t merely training our thoughts; we’re participating in the Spirit’s gentle transformation, learning to see the world through the lens of grace.

When we allow our minds to be transformed from our broken view of the world and our lives into a view that embraces hope, joy, and confidence in our Savior, the Spirit forms Christ’s likeness in us through a thankful heart. That is the work of sanctification — our being made holy as He is holy — by choosing to see through His eyes, think His thoughts, and embrace His design for our lives. In this way, gratitude becomes both response and participation – our “yes” to the transforming grace of God.

Continuing the Remembrance: Gratitude in the Everyday

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:15–17

We carry our worship service, our liturgy, with us from Sunday morning into the week – every small thank-you shared and every prayer of remembrance becomes a continuation of the Lord’s Table.

In Church Dogmatics, Karl Barth writes, “Grace and gratitude belong together like heaven and earth… gratitude follows grace like thunder [follows] lightning.” I read this and have to ask myself: does my life prove that I understand the grace I’ve been given through our Lord? Proof of my understanding of grace looks like gratitude and thanksgiving expressed in my life — not just Sunday mornings or at Wednesday night prayer meeting, but when my children wake me in the middle of the night, when I am overworked and under-thanked, when I am chosen last, when I am forgotten altogether, when the house is messy, when I am too busy. Can I express gratitude even when my circumstances are telling me there’s no reason to be thankful? Can I not only think of some things that are good but go and tell those people how much I thank God for them — to go and tell my pastor how much he blesses my life, to honor those who go unnoticed for the Kingdom work they do? Can I put action behind my grateful thoughts and feelings?

Even simple, consistent expressions of gratitude shift our outlook and our relationships – but for believers, it’s more than mental health: it’s mission. Our thankfulness becomes testimony – a living echo of the Church’s great thanksgiving, the Lord’s Table. And in that echo, something beautiful happens: our whole being – body, mind, soul – begins to harmonize with grace.

The Fruit: Gratitude Changes Everything

Gratitude reaches into every corner of who we are. It steadies the body, slowing the pulse, deepening the breath, and even improving sleep. It renews the mind, loosening the grip of anxiety and opening the heart to joy. It heals relationships, softening self-protection into compassion and drawing us closer in genuine connection. And it revives the spirit, awakening worship and restoring peace where weariness once ruled.

In all of this, we hear the echo of Paul’s simple command: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 If you ever question whether or not you are fulfilling the will of God for your life, offer up thanks to God. We are always fulfilling the will of God when we give thanks. Gratitude is not a surface emotion but a deep alignment with the heart of God — a response to grace that reshapes every part of our humanity.

And so we return to the Table, communion, to the place where gratitude began. Bread broken. Cup lifted. The gathered body remembering the mercy that holds the world. Every thankful prayer, every song lifted to our Lord, every whispered word of thanks throughout the week flows from this same reality: we remember Jesus. Gratitude is how the redeemed remember — how we carry His grace into every breath, every moment, every act of love.

May our remembering lead to rejoicing, our rejoicing lead to renewal, and our renewal overflow in thanksgiving – until gratitude becomes the language of our lives.

Happy Thanksgiving. And, sweet sister… remember.