I have written this over and over countless times. Truth is when I was asked to write this, I was just starting a season of figuring out who I was. I was asked months ago, and as I have gone through several different rough drafts, I wasn’t sure any of those were where God was leading me to write. My first instinct was to look at other articles to see how other people wrote them so I could get an idea of how I needed mine to be. I do not see myself as a writer, so I was intimidated at first. I do write poetry, but I feel like that is a completely different ballgame. I found it to be ironic in a sense that I was comparing other articles to how I should write mine about AUTHENTICITY. How can I truly be authentic if I am not confident in the words that God gave me to write?
The definition of Authentic as stated in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is:
1 a: worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact
paints an authentic picture of our society
2: not false or imitation : REAL, ACTUAL
an authentic cockney accent
3: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character
I believe authenticity is being who God created us to be in His full image. To not pretend to be something we are not. This means, we have to accept every part of who we are, flaws and all. The things we see to be a hindrance, may be the one thing that brings glory to God. In the same sense, the things we think we can do might not at all be what we were called to do. You cannot work yourself into being something you are not. You cannot change who you are no matter how hard you work at it. It is not our works, but His purpose.
2 Timothy 1:9 “He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.”
I was blessed with many talents, not bragging, I feel like it is the one thing that holds me back from being authentic. I started to throw big birthday parties every year since my oldest was one. I would get compliments on how good of a mother I was. After all, the handmade cake, banners and favors really show how good of a mother I am. It made me feel good, especially because that was my main goal, to be the best mother, to make sure I was nothing like my own mother. I started to earn my identity from that, though unintentional. But that isn’t who I am, nor who God called me to be. I was indeed not a good mother based on my talents. I am a good mother because I am imperfect and show my kids that no matter how many times I fall, I will always turn to God and He will never leave me. I say sorry often, and try to show them how to repent and to do better. We are not our talents, we are not our works, though we are called to do good works, our relationship with God comes first. How can we know who we are if we do not know who God is? How do we know who God is and who He says we are if we do not spend time with Him?
Find out who you are, take time to truly know who He is. I feel most authentic, when I am completely surrendering to what He is calling me to. When I am completely weak, but show up and realize that He can use me when I feel completely useless. He calls us to know Him, to have relationship with Him.
Jeremiah 9:24 “But the one who boasts, boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.
I wouldn’t fully be authentic if I didn’t add a poem, because I love writing poetry, and I feel that is where I can fully express myself in the best way with the least amount of words.
Authenticity
you have created me to be
more than I can ever see
Whether I’m on the mountain or in the valley, you never leave
you have called me out of the deepest pits
Even in the times where I didn’t want to exist
Gave me purpose
showed me what my worth is
I tried to do good works to please you
But I learned that my value is more than what I can do
It’s who I am, because of who you made me to be
The light that shows up when the darkness flees
We are not measured by how many times we fall,
but rather how we stand through it all
I count it joy to be faced with trials
Though I wish it didn’t last for miles and miles
Joy isn’t based on my circumstances
it’s based on where my faith is
Stand guard and keep a lookout
Sometimes it’s best to whisper when we want to shout
Letting go of who I thought I was
It’s amazing what surrendering does
I am loved
On the highest mountain
Flowing abundantly
Redundantly
Like a fountain
You call on me
How will I answer if I don’t know who I can be
Authentically
The best version of who you say I am
Sitting still like Daniel in the lion’s den
I am learning that letting go isn’t giving up,
It’s stepping aside so Jesus can fill my cup
So I encourage you to sit still and allow God to speak to you. I have to shut the World out when I listen too much to who people tell me I am, and not who God says I am.
Monique Urton
I am an imperfect daughter of God who is consistently growing and changing to be molded in who He has created me to be. I am a wife to an amazing, loving husband and a mother to three beautiful girls. I enjoy writing poetry, and feel it’s the best form of healing and expressing emotion. I one day want to share my poetry with women who have experienced trauma and need to know they are not alone, and that there is such redemption in their story. Above all, at the end of the day, I want to glorify God through everything I do.