The Call to Relentless Discipleship

Day 3 - Denying Yourself

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I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

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The Lord told me something recently that I really needed to hear, as He so often does: Our relationship isn’t about you, Lyndsay. Your life isn’t about you. It’s about Me. That was a shock to my system! When He said that to me, it immediately shone a bright light on all of these different areas of my thinking and decision rationale that were centered all around me and how I felt or thought about a particular thing. If I felt like it, I’d do this or that. If my opinion was that something was worthy of my time, I’d do this or that. My relationship with Jesus (and other people) was fairly self-centered. And I thought I was doing pretty good too!

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I have said for a while now, nothing will show you just how wicked you truly are like raising children (particularly a five-year-old daughter, but I digress). You just don’t realize the depth of your self-centeredness until you have a room full of tiny people demanding every bit of your time, attention, affection, energy, focus, strength, sleep—your very life—every single moment of the day, forever and ever, amen! It is exhausting, and you just want to say no sometimes, but you can’t. Or at least you shouldn’t. If I’m being honest, sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom for just a little too much time because my self-control has left the building and the crazies have taken over the asylum. I should be out there laying down the law and restoring peace and order to our household, but I am just sitting in my empty bathtub with the sink running to drown out the noise while I scroll on Instagram for a few minutes to numb myself out.

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Too transparent? Maybe I should have kept that one to myself… but it’s true, and if you haven’t done that, or something like it, as a parent… why aren’t you writing this book right now?! Parenting is a spotlight that reveals all the darkness of self-centeredness lurking in our hearts and thoughts. It is a wonderful tool in our discipleship journey. A painful one at times, but incredibly effective.

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Those moments with our kids when we just want to stamp our feet and pout in the corner because it’s just too hard or too much—that is truly a battle between a selfish parent and selfish children. We are all so selfish! We are born that way. It is that sin nature we’ve inherited from way back in the Garden of Eden when the choice was between going in the same way with God or Adam and Eve going their own way. They chose their own way, and we’ve been battling against that choice ever since.

But there is a better choice than going your own way. Choose your own adventure is overrated… it’s a novel idea, but it is too much pressure to get it right. I can’t see far enough down the road to know I’m going to make the right choice that is going to lead me into happiness, fulfillment, and peace. But there is Someone who can see all the way down the road. It’s a narrow road with a small gate, and while few may find it, all are invited to go in the same way with the One who knows the route. It leads to happiness, fulfillment, and peace. It leads to wholeness and goodness.

We all want to be the captain of our own ship, to choose our own destiny and own our future, but because we are short-sighted and unable to see what the future holds, we make foolish captains. The pressure is great, and we will fail. It is guaranteed, because all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Why don’t we just let God be in charge? Our relationship with God isn’t about us; it’s about Him. And in His goodness, He cares for us, provides for us, and shows us the path of life. Real happiness isn’t found in doing what you want; it’s found in a life of holiness. When we say yes to God, deny ourselves, and take up our cross, we find real fulfillment, real peace, real joy, real wholeness, real healing, and real happiness.

After the Lord kindly rebuked me for my selfishness in our relationship, do you know what else He said to me? You be about My business, and I will take care of yours. It’s My job to take care of you. It’s your job to follow Me. My priorities were out of whack. And you know what? I don’t even take care of myself all that well. I overwork myself, I overcommit myself, I don’t get enough rest. But the Lord knows who should get my yes and when I need to slow down and rest. He is great at taking care of me. Why do I struggle to trust Him with my business so that I can focus on HIS business?

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Jesus, we want to be about YOUR business and trust You to take care of our business. Our focus is shifting to You and Your desires. How do You want us to live? How do You want us to change and grow to more closely look like You? Help us to trust You enough… to trust You more than we trust ourselves… and say YES to You today.

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Reflection Questions
Ask yourself these questions and answer honestly, only you see these answers, but also ask God what His thoughts are about these things. He sees all our blindspots and wants us transformed into His likeness - whole and healed. Let Him transform you as you work through these questions.

Sight – Your Outlook

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• When you examine your life, do you see evidence that your relationship with God is about Him, not you? Or do your decisions, priorities, and emotions still center around what feels best for you?
               

Smell – The Atmosphere You Create

• Does your life carry the aroma of surrender to Christ, or does it still carry the scent of self-centeredness? How would those closest to you describe the atmosphere you bring into your home and relationships?
                   

Touch – Your Actions and Behaviors​

• In what practical ways are you taking up your cross daily? Are you actively denying yourself and saying yes to God’s will, or are you still trying to keep control of certain areas?
                                                                                                                                                                       

Hearing – Your Influences

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• What voices are guiding your decisions—your own desires, cultural expectations, or God’s Word? How can you tune out distractions and truly hear His voice leading your life?
                                                                                                                                              

Taste – Your Beliefs​

• Do you truly believe that holiness leads to real joy? Or are you still craving control, comfort, and independence, thinking they will satisfy you more than surrender to Jesus?