What am I even supposed to be doing? I hear that question asked all the time (sometimes more than I like in my own head). Sometimes, sometimes I am looking for my next big step. And honestly, sometimes it is because I walked into a room and I just flat out forgot what I was supposed to be doing. LOL Anyones else do that or just me?!? Sometimes it is when I think about how to raise my children or lead a ministry or help out at my kids' school.
But one thing always seems to be true, there always seems to be something very looming about that question to me. As if almost immediately after it is brought up there is this dark cloud overhead and things start to get heavy. The weight of everything seems to be a little harder to hold...
Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing the wrong thing?...
I have recently been going through the book “Godmothers” by Lisa Brevere and as we were going through the study Holy Spirit revealed something so powerful to me.
In this quiet moment of study where I sat in my favorite chair soaking in my favorite worship music I began to imagine. I began to ask God to take me deeper. To use me however He saw fit. And I began to pour out my heart and tell Him, whatever it looked like, whatever it sounds like, whatever it felt like I wanted to be His. I wanted Him to use me the way only He knew I was specifically created for... And then the cloud...
What if I am not on the right track... What if I have missed too many doors... What if I don’t have the right kind of education, training or background... What if I wasn’t enough... (FYI-YOU ARE ENOUGH.)
Then in the midst of what was turning into a panic, I felt a calm out of no where and Holy Spirit whispered to me “Sis, I never asked you to do all that. I simply asked you to love Me and love others.”
I am reminded of the toilet paper meme that goes something like this:
Everyone wants to change the world, but no one whats to change the roll. BE THE CHANGE!
And as funny and simple as it is, it also brings great truth with it. So many of us are out there reaching for these massive things. We have grandiose dreams where we accomplish these amazing feats. We want to be the best in our profession. We want to have multiple locations and be the CEO’s and CFO’s, we want to be the next big book author or movie star or music artist. We want to be the one that everyone wants to be and have the things that everyone wants to have and do the things that everyone wants to do. We want to change to world.
Sometimes we just need to change our roll.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I believe in goal setting. I believe in having vision for the future and I absolutely believe that having BIG DREAMS is important in our lives and in the lives around us. I am not for one minute discounting that. Only... I again am reminded of the 2 most important commandments; Love God, and love others.
I wonder if sometimes I lose sight of that in my striving to be on the right path, the right steps, the right career. I don’t want the fear of not being enough or knowing enough or doing enough to paralyze me in my tracks anymore.
Sitting there in my chair that morning Holy Spirit reminded me to not get so distracted with my big picture that I forget to change my roll.
Because the truth is, what good is changing the world if you don’t have someone (God and others) to change it for.
I have this friend who whenever I go to her and I am overwhelmed and don’t know what to do, she simply says “What’s the next right thing?” And I love that because it gives me the freedom to not know all the right answers and the where and the when and the how everything is going to work out. It takes the pressure off and helps to realign and get me moving again even if it is just the next right thing.
So, if in this season you are like me and looking around at all of this crazy thing we call life. Maybe you have the dreams and the goals and the visions and plans God has given you for your life, but you are siting in your favorite chair going, Lord I have no idea how or when or where. I just want to encourage you, we do not have all the answers all the time! And that is ok. (Ssshhhh! Don’t tell my husband and my kids LOL) We were never meant to have them all. We were simply meant to love God and love others.
Do the next right thing and do it with love. We can never and will never go wrong with God’s love. He will guide you if you ask Him and let Him.
Father, I pray that You help Your daughter to imagine and dream with You today and throughout this week. Reveal to her Your plans for her. Plans to prosper her, plans to give her hope and a future. I thank You Father that when she seeks You she find You and You reveal Yourself to her. Help her to see herself the way You see her and remind her to change the roll and put her love on. In Jesus mighty mighty name, Amen.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; Jeremiah 1:5
WRITTEN BY: ALEXANDRIA BROWN
For more from Alexandria, visit her website at www.alexandriabrown.org.
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Photo by Mark Fletcher-Brown on Unsplash
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