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9/29/2020

"Leadership" Featuring Pam Smith & Melanie Resendes

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Earlier this year, our team gathered together to pray and decide on topics that we felt the Lord was putting before us to encourage, challenge, and strengthen women around the world this year through our blog, videos, and discussion on the Community. The topic of LEADERSHIP was brought to the table and immediately, two women came to mind... Pam Smith and Melanie Resendes. After talking with them and reading their thoughts on leadership, I (Lyndsay) was in tears. I needed to hear so much of this personally and I felt a big, fat confirmation that our choice in asking them to partner with us on the topic of leadership was 100% the Lord's influence and leading! 

Pam and Melanie desperately love Jesus, their families, and the work God has put before them. While both are Boss Babes, each of them bring different strengths to their teams and have their own leadership style heavily influenced by Jesus and the leading of the Holy Spirit. We are so blessed to call them each a friend and have this conversation together today! I'll let them introduce themselves and we'll let's get this thing started...
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First of all, a little about me. My name is Melanie Resendes.  I am a child of God, a daughter of the King, a wife, a mother, a sister and daughter, a dentist, a business owner, and a girl-boss.  I don’t define myself by any of these earthly things, but they all definitely define me.  I am also an extroverted relater, an academic, and to call me a control freak would be a gross understatement.  Haha!  😊  No seriously, I am 40 years old this year, and have been practicing dentistry since I was 26.  I bought my own practice 8 years ago, and recently (2 months ago!) bought a second dental practice.  I am married to a man who is my complete opposite, whom I love dearly, but who also drives me crazy at times.  I am a mother of 3 – an 18 year old, acquired as a teenager through a very God-led adoption; a 4 year old, my rainbow baby, acquired biologically after a lengthy battle with infertility; and a soon-to-be-born baby girl, who will be making her appearance within the next month!  And yes, if you caught that, I bought a dental practice, while very pregnant, during a pandemic.  That’s pretty much my life.  😊  I try to do too much, to take it all on, to over-achieve.  So that sets the stage for my responses. 
My name is Pam Smith, I am married to Matt, who is an Associate Pastor. I am mother to two beautiful, wonderful and wild children. I work for the YMCA of Greater Richmond as the Senior Operations Director for Youth Development.  My first job was as a full time Children's Minister and Matt was a Youth Minister. Along the way, I started working for the YMCA and now - 14 years later - I help lead the largest provider of childcare in the state of Virginia. What drew me into the YMCA is a dedication to the core values of caring, honesty, respect and responsibility. I truly believe God called me to serve at the YMCA and to witness to children and staff who may never enter the doors of the church. I have the honor and privilege of leading complex, diverse staff teams and sites that span the central region of Virginia. Each day is crazy, both at home and at work - and I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe God calls us to a life of challenge and growth. Also, I love vanilla ice cream, Haribo gummy bears and the color green. 

Lyndsay: So many of us women are leaders in more than just one area of our life and that certainly is true for both of you. Is it hard for you to transition from being a workforce leader to leading in your home? And how does your leadership look different in those two spheres?
Pam: Early in my career, this was a struggle for me - to find my footing in my profession and to be a support system for my husband. After over 16 years of marriage, it comes as second nature. I have learned to embrace that we are each wonderfully complex creations. God has given us talents that are useful in a multitude of ways. I can use my gift of compassion to soothe crying babies in the nursery on Sunday, and my gift of teaching to train 300 staff on the subject of trauma informed care practices on Monday. Both of these gifts are God given and build up the kingdom in different ways. I don't have to be defined by one avenue of my life - and neither do you. I proactively choose to step on the status quo  and to ask myself - what does God require of me today? And then to be bold about serving Him.  At work, I oversee many staff and make decisions that are intricate and high risk. At home, I support my husband and lead my children. I want them to know that Jesus gives us freedom to fearlessly pursue our passion for the glory of HIS KINGDOM.
Melanie: Yes, to be honest, this is one of THE most difficult things for me to do.  I am, by nature, a perfectionist and control freak, so being a home leader in a godly way would be difficult for me no matter what.   But being a “girlboss” and business owner outside of the home makes this even more challenging.  At work, I am the leader; I am the doctor and I wear the “boss” hat.  I make decisions all day long, not only about patients and clinical care, but also regarding human resources and business decisions.  As the owner, there is even added pressure, in that I have no one else to whom I can default questions, or “go up the chain.”  I am IT.  The buck stops with me.  I often feel the weight of it all on my shoulders… not only for my own livelihood, but also for the team members I employ.  So when I get home, it is VERY hard for me to take off that “boss” hat, lay down that perceived need to control it all, and become both a servant leader in my home as well as a teammate and helpmate for my husband.  I find it much easier to stay in that work mindset, trying to micromanage both my kids and my husband, with the expectation that they do things MY way.  It is easy for me to want to keep making all the decisions, to disregard my husband’s input or preferences, or to leave him out of the process altogether! God is continually doing a work in me to learn to let my husband be the leader in our home.  I am working on submitting to his role as head of the home and our marriage, as well as relinquishing that need to control my kids, as this has only caused me endless amounts of stress and frustration! He is also working in me to let that “weight of the world on my shoulders” feeling go, and to rest in the knowledge that HE is ultimately in control.  
    Leading in these two spheres looks similar in some ways, however, as I have found that the most effective way to influence others is to be willing to do myself all that I expect of them.  At work, I am capable and willing to do every aspect of what is needed there.  I will take the trash out, do the laundry, clean a room, schedule a patient, or file charts if needed.  My team members regularly see me willing to do all the things I expect from them, and I think it builds their trust in and respect for me.  At home, I feel most effective when I lead by example as well.  If I expect the kids to make their beds, then I should make mine too.  (I don’t, by the way…. Just in case you wondered. 😊 ) If I want them to read their bible and pray, then they should see me doing those things as well.  If I want them to be kind and respectful, then I must demonstrate that myself as well.  Though I definitely don’t get it all right, I strive to avoid hypocrisy as much as I can, for I believe it undermines my ability to influence well.
Lyndsay: Both of you touched on something... Pam, you said that you ask yourself "What does God require of me today?" and Melanie, you shared about letting God reshape you - particularly as a leader in your home. For many of us, communicating with God when it comes to making decisions about how we lead (or anything for that matter) can be confusing or difficult. What advice would you give other women about connecting with God and confidently moving forward?​
Pam: I think if you are connecting with God on a regular basis and seeking HIS glory and HIS kingdom, you can move confidently forward with whatever God has called you to. I don't stop and wait for confirmation for every decision (for big decisions - YES for sure!) I filter my actions through these layers - is it in God's Word? Is it in God's will (global or personal)? If the answer to these is yes, then I feel like I can move forward with confidence, though the path may not be clear, I know this - God never changes.  Verses that I use to guide my steps include -
James 1:27    “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
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Matthew 25:40    "And the King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me." ​

Lyndsay: On the topic of connecting with God, how does prayer play a role in all the areas you lead?
Melanie: Prayer plays a huge role in my leadership both at home and at work, though I still need it to play an even bigger role.  I am fully aware of my own inadequacies in all areas of my life, so I lean into God and His power to hold me, sustain me, and guide me.  I start my day, most days, by calling on His name, or saying the name of Jesus literally as soon as I sit up in bed each morning.  I rarely ever get enough sleep because I am a night owl and am terrible about going to bed when I know I NEED to, so every morning I’m exhausted when my alarm goes off or I am woken by my four year old.  I call on God to help me even get my feet to the floor.  But, more importantly, I know that I am nothing without His presence and power in my life.  I know I can do nothing apart from Him, but rather can do ALL things with Him who strengthens me.  Having said that, I’m not sure why, but I find it much easier to pray for home life things rather than my work.  It’s natural for me to take my kids and my husband, my heart or attitude, our finances, and our future to Him in prayer.  However, for some reason, though my mind KNOWS that I need to pray over all aspects of my work, it feels like I often allow the enemy to deceive me into thinking that I can somehow do THAT on my own.  It’s a lie, I know.  This is why I need prayer to play an even bigger role in my life.  There have been seasons, when things were especially stressful, or I had big decisions to make at work, where I prayed more about it.  And when I did, God was always faithful to meet me right where I was.  He has blessed my business abundantly, and for that I am eternally grateful.  As I mentioned earlier, He is continually doing a work in me, teaching me to let go of all the weight I feel, both at home AND at work, and to run to Him, to lay it all at His feet, and rest in His care. 
Pam: On my way to work each day I ask God - what would you have me do today in this city? for these children? for this staff? and then I really try to listen and follow through. This has led me to pursue some bold goals at work - to serve thousands more kids - to grow beyond my ability to handle - because I knew God was present in day to day decisions. My staff know that my door is always open for prayer - they know that I care about them, not just as professionals but as people. We have an important job to do, and we will do it well. But, we don't do it alone and I believe praying for each other strenghtens the staff. We begin our meetings with prayer, and in my personal prayer life, I pray for each staff person by name. 
Lyndsay: None of us like to talk about it, but I think it's one of those things that we often pretend "If I can't see it, it's not there,"... however, FAILURE as a leader IS there, we CAN see it, and we HAVE to talk about it. How do you handle failure in leadership? And how can you gain your momentum back when you get knocked down?​
Pam: I think failure is an essential part of leadership. I have failed many times, sometimes TERRIFICALLY.  What makes the difference for my staff is how I handle that failure.  Humility is the only way to go - being able to say, "Team - this one is on me. I am sorry and I will try to do better." People don't expect me to be perfect, but they do expect me to be honest - because that is one of my core values. I think showing the team that I am a flawed leader creates a culture of innovation. We can try pretty much ANYTHING - and we may stumble upon something wonderful in the process. I find this also to be true at home as I lead my family - to be humble enough to say - I messed up - I raised my voice and I am sorry. Let me try again. It models for my children that we all fall short of the the glory of God. Perfection is the enemy - embrace  yourself as a messy work in PROGRESS!
Melanie: Failure in leadership is something with which I am very familiar.  Whether at work or at home, I fail in effective leadership on a regular basis.  I have found, for me, the best thing I can do is humble myself, ask for forgiveness, and try not to make excuses for my behavior or choices.  At work, I have had conversations with my team members, apologizing for a poor choice I made, or a lack of decisive leadership at times.  I will thank them for their patience with me, and ask them to help hold me accountable the next time so that I don’t make the same mistake again.  I have found that humility goes a long way toward rebuilding trust and regaining momentum after I have failed miserably.  At home, I try very hard, when I have lost my temper, raised my voice too loud, or made a bad choice in parenting, to apologize openly to my kids, ask for forgiveness, and not make excuses for my behavior.  Though I find it much easier to blame my kids or my husband for my outburst or my choice, I know that effective leadership lies in humbly taking responsibility for my own actions.  This has helped rebuild my kids’ trust and respect for me time and time again, and opens the door to regaining that momentum after a failure.  
Lyndsay: Both of you focused on humility being a key factor in your rebuilding after failure. I can attest to that truth! Continuing on, John Maxwell has a great quote that, I think, hits on both success and failure in leadership, "Everything rises and falls on leadership." What do you think about that statement from Maxwell? Have you seen any truth in that?
Pam: Yes I see lots of truth in that statement. Another John Maxwell quote that I embrace is "Speed of the leader, speed of the team." I have to model for my team, what I expect from my team. It is my responsibility to consistently put the mission in front of them and then head for it myself - as I require of them. I have to be firm, fair and consistent. A staff that knows what to expect from me, can reach and exceed those expectations. I want the staff to know that I will give them the same answer, no matter who asks me, on what day of the week, and no matter my mood. 
Lyndsay: While the juggling of motherhood and working outside the home doesn't apply to every woman, I think every woman can find a way to relate to the problem of "finding balance" in our lives. So, Melanie... what does balance look like for you?
Melanie: The work/life balance….  Is there really such a thing??  😊  I am just like many working moms I know… when I’m at work, I feel guilty for not being at home.  When I’m at home, I feel like there are things I should or could be doing for work and I’m thinking about how to improve or grow my business.  So balance can be very difficult!!  Fortunately, I have always worked in a field with only a four-day work week, so I’ve always had an extra day to “get things done” at home.  Balancing work with my marriage was easier in the beginning, as I had copious amounts of time to devote to our home and him.  However, when I became a mother a few years ago, I struggled to find this so-called balance.  And it’s still a challenge!  After my son was born, I took a lot of time off for maternity leave, and then chose to hire another associate dentist to work a day a week to allow me to be home another day with him.  This has been a huge financial sacrifice, but one I was willing to make to allow me to find the best of both worlds at home and at work.  Still, because I own my business, the work never really ends, and I have to discipline myself regularly to focus on being PRESENT with my family when I am home.  I try to enjoy all the little things and live in the moment when I’m home – to leave my work at work as much as possible, and to make every moment count.  Likewise, when I’m at work, though my family comes first, I try to leave all my home stress at the door and focus my energy on my team and my patients.  My philosophy is, if I’m going to work, then I need to work at it with all of my heart, as though working for the Lord, and not for men.  (Colossians 3:23)  God has called me into dentistry and business ownership, and I take that calling seriously.  He uses me daily to bless people with my gifts, talents, and expertise, and I see my work as part of my ministry.  He has also called me to marriage and motherhood, so I take that seriously as well.  I have had to get really good at not being “perfect”, to use my free time wisely and efficiently (by the way, I am TERRIBLE at this!!), and to take help wherever I can get it.  Though I want to “do it all”, I just can’t.  My mom used to help me with laundry quite a bit when she would keep my son while I was at work.  At one point, pre-Covid, we hired a housekeeping service to come clean every 2 weeks so at least SOME housework got done sometimes!!  😊 And we recently hired a nanny who is incredibly gifted at teaching my four year old all the letters and numbers that I just couldn’t seem to get through his head!!  She is doing some pre-K lessons with him, and I have had to let go of my expectation that I should be able to be everything to everybody – supermom, superwife, and superboss.  Like I said, it’s still a struggle, and a work in progress.  But God is faithful to uphold me, sustain me, and provide.
Lyndsay: Okay, last question. What would you say is the most important leadership principle to live by or the best leadership advice you've been given?
Pam: I think the principle of stewardship is incredibly important. Especially in today's instant gratification society. Very rarely, do you start with the dream. You have to start with what God gives you and be a faithful steward.

Luke 16:10 - "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much".

As you show yourself faithful to the calling - God will enlarge the territory (as in the Prayer of Jabez). You must be faithful in the little things - taking out the trash each night, being kind when no one sees, honesty in finances, keeping your word to those around you. As God works in your heart through these little things - He will increase the boundaries of your leadership. In one of my early roles within the YMCA, we started with 25 students in one site. We worked hard, gained trust and poured our hearts into those students. Seven years later, when I left that position, we were serving over 300 students daily in 13 different schools. Stewardship and faithfulness -  at the end of my life I want to hear these words.... 

Matthew 25:21 - "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master!'
Melanie: As I’ve mentioned before, I think the most important leadership principles are both humility – willingness to admit failure without making excuses for your actions – and the desire to avoid hypocrisy, by being willing to do yourself whatever you are asking of others.  They go hand in hand, in my opinion, and have been principles that have served me well over the years.  Godly leadership also requires an intentional commitment to seeking the Father’s will through prayer and worship, and time spent listening to His voice -- learning to discern HIS voice amid all the other “noise” of life.  God is faithful to uphold, sustain, guide, and speak – we need only to listen. 
Melanie and Pam, thank you both for letting us glean from your fields here on the blog. We've got some real nourishment, encouragement, and refreshment from you both today! We appreciate your candor, vulnerability, and wisdom. You both have some deep wells and we are so so grateful for you, your ministries, and all that God is doing in you, through you, and around you. 

​We'd love to continue this conversation with all of you beautiful women on the Community so head over there and let's chat!

Did God speak to you through this conversation today?

What is He showing you?

How can we support you or champion you to grow in leadership and obey Jesus more today than yesterday?


You are so loved, 

Pretty & Wise Co.

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9/28/2020

Leading From The Overflow

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Being a leader? What does that even mean?


Over the last year or so I believe God has been shifting and growing my perspective of leadership. Leadership not only in ministry and in the work place, but also, leadership within my own home. 


You see for a very long time I thought that there were two different types of leaders. Leaders who were out front taking charge, you know the ones. The ones who always seem to have all the information and all the answers and direction. And then there were the more background style leaders. The leaders who make sure that no one gets left behind. This leader was perfectly described in a meme that went around a few years back that showed the formation of wolves and that the older and baby wolves were up front and set the pace and then the protectors and so on and so forth and then at the end of the pack were the Alpha leaders making sure everyone was protected and no one was left behind. 


Those two styles were how I viewed good leaders. One was not better than the other, it was just that they each had their own redeeming qualities, if you will. 


I read a statement recently that said, “Great leaders lead from the inside out.” And it challenged my view of leadership.


I feel like I hear the statement, "You can’t lead on empty," so much that it has almost become cliché. I hear it and I automatically agree with it, but in my mind I just go, "Yeah yeah I’m good though. No problems here. All is good in this neighborhood. (Insert winky face and two thumbs up.)" When, in reality, I’m just simply keeping everything from crumbling down. 
Sometimes I don’t even realize it. I’m too close to see the damage that I have done as a leader due to me leaking my junk on those around me. 


Faith does not deny a problem's existence, faith denies the problem a place of influence.


You see, being a leader has nothing to do with having our ducks all in a row or having the right answers and directions all the time. That is just unrealistic. 


Even Jesus did not have all the answers to the demands of the people himself and he was fully God and fully man. He said in John 5:19 “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He only does what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does."


Jesus only took his cues from God.


When we look at Jesus, even most non-christians can agree that Jesus had some definite leadership qualities. Jesus led all kinds of people and he led well. 
All throughout the gospels we see people following Jesus, even when he was trying to withdraw to his core group of people. I don’t know how many times I have read the phrase "they withdrew by themselves to a town… but the crowds learned and followed…" or something along those lines. 


And still Jesus waited for his cues from the Father.
Even Jesus was not controlled by the demand of the people only by response to the Father.


Jesus knew the importance of not “leading on empty” better than anyone in the world. But what was it about Jesus that drew people in? That made him a Great leader in every season of his life? (Other than the obvious answer of Him being the Son of God…)


The Lord has been showing me that becoming a great leader is not linked to an experience or calling, rather it’s linked to the overflow we create around us. It’s linked to what we are leaking.


We leak on those we come into contact with… Good or bad.


We have to live a life filled with the Spirit of God in order to lead others into having that experience with the Father. A true right relationship with God.


It is not enough to lead having only had the corporate experience with God. We must first have that closed room, personal time with Jesus and Holy Spirit to effectively lead people in His presence whether we are at work, church, home or the grocery store. 


In order to lead well, to lead the way that Jesus did doing only what the Father said, we must be first willing to sit with Jesus. We must be willing to surrender. We must be wiling to give our time to hear and see and know what God is wanting to do. We must surrender our embarrassment when it comes to the who, what, when, where, and why of what God is telling us to do.


When the crowds came to Jesus he did not say, "Ok give me a second I need to pray a long prayer to see what the Father wants to do."
No. Jesus was prayed up long before the crowds ever arrived. He had already invited the Father into His day to day activities. He had spent the time sitting with the Father. And what the crowds were experiencing was simply the overflow of that time with the Father.


Have you ever being in a place where someone walks into the room and all of a sudden everything feels very exhausting, sad, or even angry?  Or, or maybe the opposite, someone walks into the room and it feels like the party is just beginning? We call those people thermostats. They can change  the “temperature” of the room. Whatever mood that person walks into the room with they leak on the other people in the room thus changing the mood of those in the room. 


When we consistently are spending our time sitting with Jesus he begins to leak on us and we in turn get to leak on those around us. It’s in the overflow. That’s how Jesus led. That is what we should be aiming for in every area of our lives. Leading from the overflow.


We are all called to lead one way or another. Some in our work places and some in our homes. Regardless where we lead, how we lead is going to determine who we lead.  So let’s lead well. Let’s strive to mirror the One who gave us everything, 


My pastor (John Poundstone) has a saying that goes like this,
“Transformed minds transform people. Transformed people transform families and groups. 
Transformed families and groups transform cities and transformed cities transform nations.”


Leading from the overflow.


Let’s be women who shake up our understanding of leadership and follow Father God’s leading first and always. 


Love you ladies,
Daughter of the King!

WRitten By: Alexandria Brown

For more from Alexandria, visit her website at www.alexandriabrown.org.
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Head over to the Community and join the conversation!

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9/21/2020

After the Fire

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Leadership has been a regular topic of conversation between my father and I since I was about 8 years old. I remember sitting on his knee after a friend in the neighborhood treated me poorly and didn’t keep her word. I was in tears and instead of scooping me up, telling me it was going to be okay, and leaving it at that, my father scooped me up, talked me through how to make things right with her, and helped me learn that I can create boundaries and communicate to others what is acceptable in our relationship and what is not. These were some of my first conversations centered on leadership that I can remember. And they haven’t stopped since. 

Anytime I hit a wall in a relationship - professionally or personally, anytime I run into an obstacle I don’t know how to overcome, anytime things get sticky or fragile and I can’t risk being too clumsy in my approach to solving a problem, I ALWAYS call my dad. I have avoided so many “fatal” errors in my life and my different leadership roles because I called my dad before I made a rash decision. I sought council instead of flying by the seat of my pants. I’ve saved myself so many headaches and have learned so many invaluable lessons in leadership… I’ve been a much better leader to people because I called my dad first. 

Getting ready to write this article, I had a million leadership “lessons” I could have shared from my father’s wisdom. He’s been in leadership positions professionally for almost 40 years. He’s learned a lot and I’ve gleaned from that field time and time again. Initially, I figured I’d write something about, “How to deal with conflict resolution,” or “Team building,” and how those things factor into work AND home life… or something of that nature. 

However, I felt the Lord pull me in a direction I really didn’t want to go, to be quite frank. But I realized that it was something I desperately needed to hear at one point in my life and maybe there are some of you that need to hear this right now. So here goes…

Leadership After Failure.

Have you ever been in a leadership position - in any capacity - and done something so spectacularly stupid that you almost (or did) burned your life to the ground? 

“Where do I go from here?” 
“God will never allow me to lead again.”
“How could He ever entrust other people to me again?”
“That’s it. Those dreams are gone now.”
“I threw away everything and there’s no getting it back.”
“Will anyone ever trust me again?”
“Should anyone ever trust me again?”

All those thoughts ran through my head on repeat several years ago after I had a metaphorical loose thread on a sweater that I kept tugging at and tugging at until the entire thing unraveled - my entire LIFE unraveled. I had a problem I should have handled differently. I should have sought help other places. I should have seen the signs. I should have reached out to the right people. Instead, I stayed hidden, dealt with it the way I wanted to, and ignored God while trying to do His work. I was trying to lead well in His name at home and at work all the while suffering and inadvertently inflicting more suffering upon myself and those around me.

Spectacular failure.

I hit a wall. My world caught on fire - a fire that I started myself - and I was standing in the ashes of my own indiscretion, selfishness, and inept leadership. 

Listen to me. I was getting out of the shower a few days after my spectacular failure and I was reeling in the aftermath of that failure when I heard the Lord say, “Did David lose his anointing after Bathsheba? Did I remove his crown? Did I take him from his throne? Did I choose a new king?”

I stood in that bathroom and cried. I couldn’t believe what the Lord was saying to me! How was he possibly so generous? I sinned against Him and others and, yet, He did not take away my anointing - the thing He purposed me for and set me aside to do. He did not remove my garment of praise and return to me a cloak of mourning. He still had a job for me. His will and purpose was not swayed by my sin. But why was that? How could He still hold me so dear? How did He not see me as despicable? Here’s what I think…

Because my spirit was broken and my heart contrite before Him.  

I wasn’t blaming anyone else for my failure at this point. The whole world knew and there was no hiding anymore. I failed. I wasn’t hiding from Him any longer either. He was all I had to hold onto and I was hanging onto the hem of his cloak for dear life believing that just His nearness could make me whole again. 

The Lord can do a lot with that, sweet friend. 

In the coming months, the Lord did an unbelievable and miraculous work in my life. He brought so much healing to me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He brought healing to my family and our future. Hope was set before us and we could see it clearly when our eyes were on Jesus because all of our hope was in Him. Leadership looked different for me for awhile. Things changed because of failure, that was true, but my purpose remained. My anointing retained. My calling the same. The Lord helped show me how to lead well after the fire. And a lot of conversations with my dad helped too. 

All of us lead. Maybe at work, at home, or some other sphere. And I’m convinced we all start a fire in our leadership at some point. Maybe it’s a spectacular fire and you burn the whole forest down. Maybe it’s small and easy to stop the spread. Maybe your fire took out the entire west coast. Whatever your failure looks like - a spectacular one or a minor blunder - we all have to figure out leadership after the fire. 

So what do you do after the fire? How do you lead well? Here’s a few things I’ve learned…


  1. Call your dad.  Your heavenly Father knows exactly what to do. So call on Him. Make Him your priority and He will take care of the rest, He will lead you to your next step, He will teach you how to rebuild your life, He will guide you to love people well, He is your everything. And it’s not just after a fire, sis. That’s an important lesson we all need to learn yet many of us don't until we burn the forest down. So if you haven’t set any fires yet - learn this now. It’s just Jesus. It always was and it always will be. 
  2. Own up to your mistakes and humble yourself. This one is so hard. It’s easier to find other people to blame, at least in part, because it’s hard to look at ourselves in the mirror after fires. However, it is vitally important to take responsibility for our actions and make it known to the people you’ve hurt. Ask forgiveness. Do the hard work. Humble yourself. We can’t be right with God when we’ve got pride still lurking in our hearts.
  3. Shame died on the cross. If you belong to Jesus Christ, shame has no hold on you. You don’t have to wallow in guilt and shame and self-hatred for any length of time to prove you are repentant. What is repentance? It literally means to change your mind and to turn around. It doesn’t mean to hate yourself and sulk until you’ve paid your penance. So shake off that shame at the foot of the cross right where it belongs because it doesn’t belong on your shoulders, sis. That’s a lie that will keep you from pursuing Jesus wholeheartedly and experiencing real healing. Repent - if you weren’t pursuing Jesus when you failed, do that now. If you weren’t thinking with the mind of Christ when you failed, take every thought captive and submit it to Christ - change your mind!
  4. Say yes when He calls again. Because He will, sweet friend. He isn’t done with you. You aren’t damaged goods. YOU aren’t a failure. Failure is an event, not a person! Failure does not define you, degrade you, or defeat you when you are in Christ Jesus. If you are wallowing in your failure, you will miss His voice as He calls you into new leadership. So set your eyes, open your ears, and say yes when He calls. 

Leadership is difficult and can be scary. It forces us to grow, challenges us to mature, and leads us to places we sometimes don’t want to go, but, as Jesus lovers, leadership is a beautiful gift. It’s an avenue that grows us into His likeness. So press into it. And when failure comes, because it always does, remember this:

Failure is an event, not a person.

Failure does not define you, degrade you, or defeat you when you are in Christ Jesus. 


“For My hand made all these things, thus all these things came into being,” declares the Lord. “But to this one I will look, to him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.” Isaiah 66:2​

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” Psalm 51:17

“For thus says the high and exalted One who lives forever, whose name is Holy, “I dwell on a high and holy place, and also with the contrite and lowly of spirit in order to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.”
Isaiah 57:15

WRITTEN BY: LYNDSAY TERRY

Read more from Lyndsay @ www.lyndsayterry.com
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9/14/2020

Here I Am. Send Me.

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It's taken me a long time to sit down to write this month's article. If I'm being honest, the topic of leadership has had me feeling some kind of way these last few weeks. 

I almost want to make sure you know up front that I am an unlikely sort of leader, which is sort of true, I guess. 

Growing up, I was painfully shy and quiet. I preferred to follow and avoided standing out at all costs. And really, I still tend to be quiet and shy and I most definitely deep down inside prefer not to do anything that looks like stepping up and stepping out. 

Oh yes, most assuredly I am an unlikely sort of leader, but in the Kingdom of God, I am in good company. How many instances in the Bible are there wherein God partners with the unlikeliest of characters? How many times do we read of God coming in and doing something so unexpected and remarkable?!

So this has got me thinking.. if the Kingdom of God sort of flips the switch on what's conventional and expected; if the very things that would normally disqualify or count us out according to the world are opportunities for God's grace and mercy and glory to shine all the brighter; if we see time and time again in the Word of God that our tendencies and weaknesses are the very places that His strength is manifested, could that mean that our perception of leadership could use a little aligning with these truths?

What if the key to leading is following? What if leading well actually looks like following hard after Jesus? 

"My soul followeth hard after thee.." (Psalm 63:8)

When I think of a heart for the Lord's leading, I think of a passage of Scripture that absolutely changed my life. I think of Isaiah 6, when Isaiah encountered the Lord in all of His glory:

"..I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne, and the hem of his robe filled the temple. Seraphim were standing above him.. And one called to another:
Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of Armies; 
his glory fills the whole earth.

The foundations of the doorways shook at the sound of their voices, and the temple was filled with smoke." Isa. 6:1-4

Isaiah's response? "Woe is me for I am ruined because I am a man of unclean lips and live among a people of unclean lips, and because my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of Armies." Isa. 6:5

Isaiah stands in the presence of the King, absolutely awestruck as he is overcome by the glory of the Lord and his response is that he is not worthy, he is unclean- he cannot remain here.
  
"Then one of the seraphim flew to me, and in his hand was a glowing coal that he had taken from an altar with tongs. He touched my mouth with it and said, Now that this has touched your lips, your iniquity is removed and your sin is atoned for. 
Then I heard the voice of the Lord asking:
Who will I send?
Who will go for us?
I said:
Here I am. Send me." Isa. 6:6-8

I am so struck by Isaiah's audacity. In one breath, he expresses the impurity of his lips and in the next, once he has been cleansed, he speaks to the King of Kings and pleads, "Send me." And the Lord commissions him to go and speak!

Oh, I pray my heart is always as willing as Isaiah's. I pray that I never lose sight of the majesty of King Jesus. I pray that in His presence, I am filled with wonder and reverence. I pray that in view of His holiness, I am wholly humbled and repentant. I pray that in light of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross wherein my sin was removed as far as the east is from the west, I am therefore emboldened to do what is the good, pleasing and perfect will of the Lord. 

Here I am, Lord. Send me. I am willing.

Could it be that as we seek after the Father's heart, as His desires become our own, that we begin to overflow into our spheres of influence? Could it be that the more closely we follow Jesus, the more He is magnified and therefore His glory is the driving force behind any and all leadership we have the honor and privilege of partnering with Him in?

What if our leadership simply looks like, "Come and see"? Come and see this Jesus, come and see all He has done. Come; see and believe! Taste and see for yourselves!  
​
Lord, let us be so ruined, so undone by Your sovereignty, that we can't help but lead others to pursue You. Let our hearts be gladly given to Your will, no matter the cost. 

Written By: Olivia Caldwell

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9/7/2020

Leadership For All

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Leadership: You won’t be searching long before you find a book, article, or expert on it. But what does the Bible say about it? It says a lot when it comes to specific leadership of elders and deacons, but we are not all in those categories. I want to look at 2 Timothy 2:15. It says “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”

This verse comes in the midst of Timothy warning the readers about quarreling, irreverent babble, and false teachings. 

​I believe that this verse can tell us a lot about Godly leadership on all levels. Let’s dive in to see what I mean. 

“Do your best…” 
I don’t think that Godly leadership is perfection. Anyone who has ever set foot into a church will know this. There are opinions and speculations that sometimes go astray from where they should. But we aren’t told to be perfect. Or even near perfect. We are told DO YOUR BEST. This means thinking before we speak, find out what the Bible says about it before we act, consider others, and then do your best. 

“...present yourself to God as one approved…”
As a leader, we need to remember that we are leading under God’s approval. He is the one that is the ultimate leader of leaders. When we are leading  - whether it be just our children or a group of ladies, or a worship service for a huge group - we must put ourselves under God’s authority. We need to present ourselves to him and get HIS approval before we seek to lead others. 

“...a worker who has no need to be ashamed…”
Leaders sometimes have to be ready to lead by example. We have to be willing to get into the trenches with everyone else and do what needs to be done. If we are doing this, we aren’t seeking approval or title or some throne or pedestal to be placed on. Again, we are presenting ourselves to God first. If we do this, we should never be ashamed of the work we are doing to glorify Him. 

“...rightly handling the word of truth.”
This is the big one. If we aren’t handling (read Teaching and Living) the word of truth correctly, then we don’t need to be a leader. Ouch. That was harsh, I know. But when it comes to God’s word and leading people you have to be sure (as sure as possible) that you are doing the right thing. This means that as leaders we have to be in God’s word more often, praying more often, and keeping our ears open to what God is telling us as OUR leader. Leading others astray through false teaching is a very serious offense in God’s eyes. 

As we lead our families (and possibly other women), I hope we all seek His approval. There can be no other approval more sweet than knowing we are leading others rightfully closer to Christ and salvation. 

Written By: Angie Reese

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    The Pretty & Wise Collective features:
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