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7/26/2021

Time to Stand

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​Alerts, we get them all the time. Whether we set them or they are naturally set, it is inevitable that we will have some kind of an alarm or alert that goes off during the day. You may have just one, the one for waking up, or you may have many, one for every shift in your day. Your dog or cat will alert you when they want to eat, play, go outside, and so forth. Your kid will alert you of a diaper changing, when they need to eat, or that a project was due yesterday. I have an apple watch and try to keep up with closing all of my fitness rings or goals everyday. If I am sitting for too long I get a notification that it is Time to Stand. When I saw that the other day I really felt impressed that the Lord was identifying a need within the body of Christ. He is saying to you, “Time to Stand.”


Some of you might struggle with standing, due to being out of alignment. You need some adjusting. When you are in need of a chiropractic alignment your first appointment with the chiropractor sets the tone for the kind of adjustments as well as the frequency. Once you have had some adjustments made because of  muscle memory, sometimes the adjustments can make you feel worse than you did before you had work done to your body. Give it some time and future tweaking, your body will fall right into place and be the best it can be. Much like a chiropractor helps to get you in alignment, the Holy Spirit brings alignment to you. The adjustments are corrections, you might need minor correction and other times you need major correction. Have you met with the Father for the plan? Are you following through with the plan? Or are you ashamed to be the vessel the Lord works through? You must check in frequently with the Holy Spirit. If you fail to meet with him, you can still get by and do the work, but not to the capacity the Father has called you to. You might even think that you are doing the will of the Father. Have you stopped to consider that maybe you were meant for more or to do something else? 


So what does this correction look like? The Lord is not short of creative ways to reach us. Consider the account of Baalam, found in Numbers 22:21-39. Baalam thought that he was going to do the right thing, but God was angry because initially He told him not to go with the men to curse the Israelites. God allowed Baalam to go with the condition that he would “...still do only what I tell you.” On his way Baalam could not see the weaponized angel of the Lord on the, but his faithful donkey could. Baalam was so mad about his donkey’s disobedience that he beat her 3 times. Then the Lord opened up the mouth of the Donkey and they carried on a conversation. Once that was done, Baalam’s eyes were open and knew exactly why his beloved animal dared not move forward. God’s correction to Baalam helped him to see that God was the one in charge and to really be aware of how important it was to say only what God told him. Because Baalam obeyed, it showed the king of Moab, Balak, and those surrounding the Israelites that God is the one who blesses His people. All glory to Him! When you are on the road towards your destiny, it may not be the path that God intended for you to go on, but because of pressure from others or your own desires, He allows you to go, but with condition. You must be careful to do all that He says to do. God’s glory from your obedience is much greater than what any earthly man might try to honor and buy you with. 


Much like the way we correct our children, because we know our children, our discipline is done out of love. We know that if we yell at our toddler who is about to cross the street, they might not like the correction at first, but in the end you saved your child’s life. Some correction may hurt at first, but I would much rather suffer a little than to suffer a lasting consequence. If you allow yourself some honest feedback and time in the Word, in worship, or in prayer then you can learn to receive the small adjustments the Lord brings to your life. The Lord knows how to correct you and because God loves you, he will allow correction to come. Come into alignment with His word showing that your are a good steward of what belongs to the Lord; you will then see the moving of the Lord on your behalf. When you are in alignment, Jesus is first! Now it’s time to Stand! Stand for Jesus. Stand for your family! “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” Joshua 24:15. Stand for what is right! Proverbs 3:12 says, “For those whom the Lord loves He corrects, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.” Be encouraged that the Lord loves you.

GUEST CONTRIBUTOR: Mary Gough

​We want to connect with you and encourage you! Click here to join our community of women over at our Sisterhood Conversations page!
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​Mary Gough
Mary is a wife of almost 20 years, mom of 4, foster mom of many over 4 years, Preschool Coordinator at her church, and just loves to encourage women to live a full, abundant life for the Lord. One day she hopes to travel to many nations and return to Venezuela where she took a month’s mission trip after she graduated from high school. Mary loves to worship and encourage people of all ages to step out in faith, believe what God said in His word, and expect something amazing to happen.
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Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

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6/26/2021

Trimming the Dead Weight

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Sometimes we need to trim something dead from our life in order to grow and thrive. 

The other day my daughter Caroline and I went to get our hair cut. My hair was a frazzled mess of split ends, and we could barely get a comb through hers without a lot of screeches, “ow’s!” + tears… It was time for a trim. 

Caroline has this long, beautiful, red hair that has only been cut a handful of times in her 7 years of life. She has asked us to cut it short several times before, but we have said “no, not until you’re older” pretty much every time without thinking twice. (Why is cutting our children’s hair so emotional for us parents??) 
So, this day we went in to get our cuts and they took Caroline back first, then me, with another stylist. I could see Caroline a few chairs over, but over the course of the haircut and chatting with my stylist, I stopped watching to see how Caroline’s trim was going…until she was done and came over to see me. Well…. that “trim” that she was supposed to get somehow turned into about 5 inches….and my baby girl with the long locks of gorgeous red hair now had a much shorter cut and looked about 2 years older. 

I wasn’t ready, y’all. 

But the smile beaming on her freckled cheeks told me that she was delighted with this new ‘do, despite any of my own reservations about it. So, I beamed right back and told her how beautiful she looked. 

As the day continued, I noticed a little more pep in her step and as she bounced around the house. Her freshly snipped locks bounced with her, and she seemed lighter, freer, more her true self…not a little girl weighed down by a thick, hot, burdensome weight of unnecessary hair on her head. She even played soccer better! She was more alive. She had needed that haircut. 

Can you relate to Caroline? 

Sometimes there are areas of our lives that need a good cut, maybe even a whole new makeover, when a little trim just will not do. 

That toxic friendship that thrives on gossip and wine O’ clock? That romantic relationship not rooted in the Lord. That job God told you not to take, but those benefits were too good to turn down and now you have no peace, time for your family, or time for the ministry He called you to. How about that business venture that makes you feel like you are “doing something” more than “just being a stay-at-home-mom?” Hmmm…. That one stung a little. 

In John 15 I find these words of Jesus refreshing to my soul. 

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.” -John 15:1-3 

Did you catch that? 

He cuts off the dead parts, and then He prunes us where we are ALREADY producing fruit, so that we will produce MORE. Have you ever been told that if you want to grow your hair out long, you need to cut off the dead ends first? It sounds counter-productive at first, right? Why would I cut something that I want to grow? 

Why? Because it is holding you back from your true potential. It is keeping you from walking in the freedom Christ died to give you. It is keeping you from increasing your fruitfulness. It is DEAD WEIGHT. 

For us to get back on track to the good and the glory God has planned for our life, we must let Him cut-away certain things that are not bearing fruit. This refining process is not pretty, or without hardship. In fact, it can be quite painful. But eventually, we are able to see the full perspective, and God’s hand in it. We see how losing that friendship, job, or whatever needed pruning from our lives led to healthier relationships, more fulfilling jobs, and more opportunity to serve a better purpose for the Kingdom. 

Jesus goes on to say this: “You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in Me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine, and you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:3-5 NLT 

Without direct connection to Jesus, we cannot produce new fruit. He is our Source. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Staying connected to Him produces perseverance, character, hope, purity of heart, cleansing of hands a transformed mind, and a life more abundant than we can ever dream of or imagine. That’s great news, right? But wait, there’s more… 

One of my favorite passages in the Bible comes from 1 Peter 1 and it says this: 
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of His great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold – though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So, when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the entire world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him, and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.” 1 Peter 1:3-9. 

What an incredible promise! Our inheritance of living hope in Christ Jesus is unshakable. We can have confident expectation in a perfect, face-to-face union with the Maker and Lover of our souls - secured for us by Christ’s sacrifice and culminating in our one-day arrival in glory. We can rejoice in these trials knowing that the reward for trusting Him will be the salvation of souls, an eternity of rejoicing with glorious, inexpressible joy! Can you even fathom what that feels like? 

Be encouraged today, sweet friends. You can be certain. In fact, you can bet your life on it, that He will use every situation to produce more fruit than you could ever imagine, for your good and His glory. 
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And that’s even better than a fresh haircut.

Guest Contributor: JEssica Chandler

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Jessica Chandler
​Jessica is a coffee-obsessed collector of all things Pioneer Woman + thrifty treasures, beloved daughter of King Jesus + gatherer of people. She stays busy raising her four children, Skylar, Savannah, Caroline and Sam on their little Chesterfield “farm” and enjoys modest amounts of time trail-hiking followed by absurd amounts of time couch-lounging with her sage and witty husband, Daniel. She is an advocate for survivors of human trafficking, former dumpster-fire + current Hope-dealer sharing the Light of the World to the broken through her story of redemption by grace through faith. 
We want to connect with you and encourage you! Click here to join our community of women over at our Sisterhood Conversations page!

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5/31/2021

Comparison: Featuring Savannah Moore

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While I was thinking, praying and looking through scripture on how to begin this article, I began to catch myself comparing my writing and thoughts to others before myself. Comparison can be a dangerous rabbit trail that can be hard to get off of. It sometimes becomes our everyday thought process where we go through each part of our day comparing ourselves to others.  Comparing two different people is like comparing apples to oranges because God created each human being in a unique way with certain personality traits, characteristics and behaviors. 

One that always gets me is “Ugh why do I have to wake up so early?” “Can’t I sleep in like my husband?” That silly thought of that comparison goes through my mind every morning as my alarm goes off. It becomes hard to be content with our schedules, routines, lifestyles, and everything that goes on around us. Comparing houses, jobs, people, children, material things or even faith can be a tough thing to break free of.

Looking back on our lives, we have so much to be thankful for, even when we lack the things of the world. God has proved his faithfulness over and over by providing for our needs and He desires for us to be content with what we have been given. That is the big word that gets me everytime. Contentment. Today’s world tells us that you can never be content with the material things you may have and to always want the newest product. 

As I am writing this, my thoughts turn to everything that I have been discontent with, especially in my adult life. I still find myself displeased with certain aspects of my life such as my job and house but always have to remind myself, what really matters? Does it matter that I please friends or that I am pleasing God with my thankfulness to what He has given me? 

Galatians 1:10 says “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If we were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

Every time I compare myself with others, I remind myself of that verse and ask myself, am I wanting to please God or others around me in this world? That is a difficult thing to grasp and to change.

Today, I am here to encourage you with something I feel God has put on my heart recently: The gifts that God gives are endurance, peace, perseverance, strength, salvation, love for others, faith and much more outweigh the material objects in this world. What God gives you far outweighs what the earth can give you and God’s gifts last an eternity. His gifts are like precious jewels that can never be repaid nor replaced and I am so thankful for what He has given my family and I. He is ENOUGH for you, for me, and for all of us. His love and grace and forgiveness is nothing that can be compared with. We are so blessed to be a part of his kingdom and we get to share those gifts with others! 

Now as we move forward together in this, God calls us to be thankful for what He has provided us with, not what we lack. Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we can have this attitude of acknowledgement and thankfulness that God has placed a gift within us that is far greater than any material or earthly object. 

Daily, I remind myself to THANK God for His goodness, His faithfulness and provision in my life and others around me. He is more than enough for us and everything we have is from Him, so it makes sense for us to use it wisely and be appreciative of everything that we have. Honor comes to mind as I am writing. Honor the One who paid the price for OUR sins. Honor the One who gives us all that we need. Honor God by thanking Him and giving to others in generosity, because He is enough. 

This is my prayer today: 
       
God, 
   
Thank you for your faithfulness in our lives. Thank you for giving us all we need, and when we are in need, let us remember that You are enough and Your goodness will satisfy our needs. Let us remember that You are the great provider and no one else. Let us remember that You provide us with everything we have, and let us be thankful for that. We know that you are enough for us! We love you, 

Amen. 


Written by: Savannah Moore

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I’m Savannah and I am married to a wonderful God fearing man, Chris! We have been married a little over a year and it has been the greatest year yet! I cannot thank God enough for the blessings He has given Chris and I so far, and I am super excited to see what God has planned for the future. It is crazy how OUR plans do not turn out as we first imagined and that God’s plans are ALWAYS for the best. Especially in the past year, we have both learned that God is faithful, trustworthy, all knowing and He wants the best for us. It has been a journey, and will continue to be an adventure, but that is the exciting part! 

​A couple of my greatest passions are worship ministry  and working with kids! I am currently a Spanish teacher at a local middle school and I help lead worship at Kindred Church. I deeply enjoy worshipping and creating an atmosphere of adoration for God’s spirit to come and move in people’s hearts. I hope to encourage and bring another perspective to the Pretty and Wise team! 

- Savannah Moore

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4/5/2021

Dreams of the Heart Ft. LittleJul

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I am very excited to share with you the heart of a woman I have known for several years. Her name is Julie. Not only is she a sweet friend and Christian sister, but she is a small business owner and an amazing artist! Here at Pretty & Wise, one of the many things we want to do is champion women in what God has put on their heart. Each one of us has a mission or calling that we can use to glorify Him. I interviewed Julie so we could share with you Julie’s story and her Godly heart behind her business. 

For those who might not know, what does LittleJul offer? 
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Little Jul began as a handmade leather handbag business.  I approach almost all my work as an artist doing one-of-a-kind pieces.  And I’m so excited to be introducing a new collection of handbag products to my customers!  I will share more about that below! 

If you visit www.littlejul.com you will find some finished leather products for sale including handbags, jewelry and some hair accessories. I really enjoy doing vendor events as well and offering products of greater variety in person.  Another portion of my business is various custom orders.  Sometimes I remake a bag someone has really loved and worn out or make something in a favorite color such as a custom tote or  clutch.  It's also a lot of fun just to make specialized gifts and even repair sentimental pieces.

What is the inspiration behind LittleJul? 
          
Little Jul is a product of all of my artistic and creative experience.  I learned to sew and did a lot of arts and crafts from a young age with my mom. I studied art in college which is when the business name was born and when I first tried to sell a couple little sewn handbags in a store on consignment.  Working with leather came more recently after my babies got a little bigger and a little more independent.  When I found some time to get lost in the creative process in my home, between household chores and keeping children alive I felt so engaged and enlivened by the work.  I just wanted to sell pieces so I could keep making and learning.  The name is a simple nod to making a little something of value with my hands.  I want there to be true little jewels among my works – pieces that bring light and joy and value to others. 

How has your vision for LittleJul changed recently?
     
Little Jul began with just enjoyment of learning how to make leather handbags.  I loved creating designs and the puzzle of construction and would really become engrossed in it.  But during that learning time I also was dissatisfied and without vision wondering how this work of my hands could be of use to God. 

Two years in (little profit- no paycheck) I realized I had to make something more of this or be satisfied with a hobby business.  I had zero contentment about the latter option.  So I started pressing into prayer about Little Jul.  

Sure enough, God gave me some simple and clear inspiration and direction in my Bible reading time.  Just as God told Moses, His words would be enough, I felt God’s calling to share His Words because they are always enough.  No sermon, no explanation needed.  Just share His Word right there on handbags.  I realized I could stop doubting myself as an artist if I just focused on Him and not me.  Because God’s word is more than enough. 

God gave me a measure of talent and a desire to create.  And I have a unique ability to bring God’s word to a niche of women who love His word too and want to share it in a simple way.  Many of us don’t know where to start or how to share our faith in our everyday life.  I believe the pieces in my new collection will start some conversations with other women - women standing at a store register with you or at a soccer game – women either like minded, needing encouragement or seeking.  And who knows how God will work from those little moments and little seeds of truth.

How do you see your business growing your heart for God? 
     
My work is now becoming my offering and I’m excited to see how God will multiply it!  I feel so excited about my work this year and I’m motivated to share it with the world in a way I didn’t feel before.  Fear has kept me small for a long time.  As an artist, I’ve always felt incapable and inferior.  But now whenever I feel insecurity knocking, I can remember that when I am following God – walking with God, I have no reason to give those fears power over me.  With Him, there is no failure.  Struggle- yes.  Learning and pruning – yes.  But failure- no.  I'm learning to have and chase dreams with Him.  And I'm learning to step forward in faith and belief in God's promises. 

How can your business help others grow toward God?
 
My first collection focuses on God’s promises and releases April 2nd.  Just as God kept promises to Moses and many others in scripture, God keeps His promises today.  And there are so many rich promises in the Bible! I poured over choosing verses that show hope and encouragement and speak of God’s promises to us. Some of my very favorite verses are in this collection!  And I hope someday to hear about how these verses on purses made a difference in someone’s life!
 
 
What do you see next for LittleJul?

I am just open to God’s plans and timing for Little Jul whatever that may look like.  But I am very curious to see what God wants to do with this collection launch.  I would love for this idea of custom painted handbags with scripture to be a large part of my business going forward because I feel like I am pursuing the Great Commission.  I don’t want to live small and quiet.  I don’t want to hide the light Jesus gave me under a basket.  I want to share Him unapologetically.  


I hope that you enjoyed reading about the heart behind LittleJul. As Christian women there are always going to be moments when we feel resistance about moving forward with what God has placed before us. We hit struggles we didn’t see coming, moments of apathy, heartache, and sometimes more serious things like illness. Julie is a great example of overcoming those things and trusting in God’s promises. 

Julie’s new collection launched on April 2nd and is full of beautiful hand made items. Please take a moment to go over and admire (and purchase!) some of her work at www.littlejul.com . In support of the launch of this new line LittleJul has partnered with us for a giveaway as well! We will be giving away this hand painted, handmade beauty:

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Julie Irvine is a Christian, wife, mother of 2, artist, and owner of LittleJul. She works out of the Richmond area of Virginia. She makes beautiful and one of a kind leather items - jewelry, handbags, totes, zip pouches, and much more! Julie is partnering with us this month on Pretty & Wise as she launches her new line. Check out www.littlejul.com for all of her beautiful work. 
To enter the giveaway:
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2/22/2021

In Process

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Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. 
Philippians 1:6  

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It’s interesting how, when I think of transition, there was a time when I know my mind would have envisioned a mama, prone and sweating, working hard to cooperate with her body to go through the necessary stages of bringing forth life.  


In later years, I would have focused upon the transitions of my children from nursing to weaning, diapers to potty training, beginning homeschooling, learning to read. Driving, dating, learning, growing, each with their own struggles, heartaches, challenges, and obstacles to overcome along the way.  Some offered by us, some by God, some just by life.  


In this season transition looks like a nest emptied one little bird at a time, college tuition payments and wedding planning.  Young adults learning to live on their own, make their own decisions, pave their own way as they are led not just by the ones who love them, but by the One that loves them most.  


As a Mama, I look over the last 20 years of transition in my children that have led to transformation.  


Give me just a second as I take off my glasses and wipe my eyes…what a journey we have taken together. 


What a privilege it has been for me to care for these precious ones the Father has entrusted me with. What a challenge it has been for me to learn to transition into being the Mama of young adults who waits to be asked what she thinks rather than offering freely…who looks forward to time that is free to spend together… who is no longer the #1 human in their life….  transition indeed.  


It’s beautiful and painful and difficult and joy-filled and hard.  


I can’t help but wonder as my Heavenly Father looks back over our journey together, His and mine… if He doesn’t experience some of the same in His Father heart.  


We have journeyed together through all the transitions that have transformed me from a fearful, doubting, angry child in a woman’s body to a still-in-process woman of God confident of her Father’s unwavering love, acceptance, and forgiveness.  


Give me just a second as I take off my glasses and wipe my eyes…what a journey we have taken together.  


When I consider my own journey, it’s been more fluid and less defined than those transitions I previously mention.  In fact, the only clearly defined moment I can discern is the one in which I invited Jesus Christ into my life to be my Lord and Savior, my friend and King, my Beloved.  


Every remaining transition has been more of an ebb and flow.  Moments where truth revealed meets with a human heart that sometimes has chosen to bow right away and sometimes has not…. There are those transitions that take longer than others. Regardless of how long each transition has taken there are similarities among them all.  Each transition initiated by my Abba Father has always begun with TRUTH.  


The eyes of my heart being opened to the truth of His Word.  A Holy-Spirit inspired awareness of where the evidence of my life poured out stands in contradiction to His Word of Truth. A first step to take beginning the aligning of my life with His Truth. A leaning on and relying upon His strength rather than my own to assist in the walking out of that step.  


When I am stuck, this is the process that gets me unstuck.  It’s just a matter of my own willingness to yield to the process of transition for the purpose of transformation.  


What I know is this.  Our Heavenly Father never sets us up for failure.  


He is faithful and kind in the way that He has only ever presented truth He knew I was ready to not only hear, but to act on.  He has never called me higher to a place He did not already know that I, through Him in me, could reach.  After all, what kind of a good, good Father would offer expectations to us that  we were not capable  of reaching?   


And although even in this very moment there are transitions taking place to continue to lead to that ultimate transformation of looking, acting and thinking like my Savior, He always sees me, and you, through eyes of faith, love and in hopeful expectation on continuing to become who we were created to be all along.  

Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash
We want to connect with you and encourage you! Click here to join our community of women over at our Sisterhood Conversations page!

Guest Contributor: Tanya Glanzman

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A Graduate from Liberty University, Tanya Glanzman, LPC is passionate about helping others live the life of freedom, joy and peace Christ died for them to have. She works with a variety of populations and issues, specializing in women’s trauma recovery. As a survivor of traumatic childhood abuse, her heart is that every woman would know God as the Healer, Redeemer and Restorer He desires to be for them. She speaks and writes as My Father’s Daughter, offering hope and encouragement wrapped in grace filled truth, with the mission that every woman would know what it truly means to be a Daughter of the King.

Her first book, My Father’s Daughter, Embracing your identity as a Daughter of The King, was released in 2020.

Website:  myfathersdaughter.com
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1/25/2021

Your Source of Help, Hope, and Healing

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Jesus said we would all experience trials, yet he went on to tell us not to worry because He had overcome the world. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NIV). How do we hold on to hope when trials come and we don’t see a way out?


When trials come, and we know they will, the most important thing we can do is to switch our focus off our troubles and onto the Lord, the source of hope and healing. Instead of allowing our thoughts to be filled with worry, fear and anxiety, spending time in God’s word will give us peace that makes no sense in our worldly circumstances. Stand on the truths found in these 10 Bible Verses for hope and healing. Write them down. Place them around your house so you can be reminded of God’s promises for healing.
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My doctor looked at me with compassionate eyes before looking in my file and then ultimately asking, “What made you finally come in?” 


“I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I tried to endure and it was more than I could handle on my own. I had tried everything I knew to do and it wasn’t enough,” I replied, wondering if he would chastise me for waiting so long before seeking medical attention.


Even as I said it, I thought about how often I’m like that with God: trying to do things on my own before ultimately turning to Him for help when nothing I do makes the situation any better. So often we try to do things in our own way and our own strength, when God wants to give us His plan and His strength.


There is a reason God warns us not to depend on our own understanding—He knows better than we do.


“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take”
(Proverbs 3:5-6).


“I’m sure you suspect what might be going on here,” he suggested, with one knowing eyebrow raised.


“I do, but in this situation, I’ll let you be the doctor and I’ll be the patient for a change.”


He sent me for tests and then for more tests. Even then the results were inconclusive and left us with multiple differential diagnoses—none of which were good.


“I want to send you for another consult, STAT. I know you’ll be tempted to worry about this over the weekend, but I don’t want you to go there,” he cautioned.


Pain is a funny thing. It can take a normally strong person and drain every ounce of strength from you, leaving you weak and vulnerable.


Pain can make you question everything you know to be true, and doubt what you would previously swear by.


Pain can make you withdraw from your social network and from God, or reach out in need of help.


Gratefully, he took my condition and my pain seriously, and cautioned me not to let my thoughts run amuck on the playground of worry, fear, and anxiety because that is exactly where the enemy wanted me to go.


I knew what the differential diagnoses were, and I didn’t like them.


A friend wisely reminded me, “Doctors diagnose and help treat us. Surgeons operate. GOD heals!” He is our healer and He still heals today.


That was where my focus needed to be—on our source of hope and healing. As long as God is on His throne, hope prevails!


I had a choice to make: I could let my thoughts go down the rabbit trail with worry, fear, and anxiety, or I could spend time in the word, focused on scripture for hope and healing, stand on the truths in those scriptures, and determine to trust God with whatever we faced.
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A Prayer for Trusting God to Heal
“Lord, I know this doesn’t take you by surprise. And I know that you are bigger than any diagnosis that looms. You are Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals. You have not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind, so I choose right now to use my sound mind to trust you to heal whatever it is we are dealing with. I thank you for this current trial because I know you use the trials in our life to strengthen our faith. Use this even now, Lord, for my good and for your glory. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”
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After asking close friends to agree with me in prayer, I spent the next several hours in the Word, trusting the promises of God, declaring scripture for hope and healing out loud and claiming them for myself.


When you need healing, spend time in God’s word. Stand on the truths found in these 10 #BibleVerses for #hope and healing. Write them down. Place them around your house so you can be reminded of God’s promises for healing. #faith
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10 Bible Verses for Hope and Healing
If you or someone you love is in need of help, hope, or healing, I encourage you to declare these promises of God out loud and claim them for yourself as well. God’s word is alive and active, and it will not return void until it has accomplished what it was sent out to accomplish.


1. Jeremiah 17:14
“Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise” (Jeremiah 17:14 NIV).
2. James 5:14-15
“Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven” (James 5:14-15).
3. Jeremiah 30:17
“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD” (Jeremiah 30:17).
4. Jeremiah 33:6
“Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security” (Jeremiah 33:6).
5. 3 John 1:2
“Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit” (3 John 1:2).
6. Exodus 23:25
“Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you” (Exodus 23:25).
7. Isaiah 53:5
“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).
8. Isaiah 41:10
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
9. Isaiah 40:29
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (Isaiah 40:29).
10. Psalm 30:2
“LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me” (Psalm 30:2)
When you are in pain, instead of allowing your thoughts to be filled with worry, fear and anxiety, spend time in God’s word. Stand on the truths found in these 10 #BibleVerses for #hope and healing. #faith
CLICK TO TWEET
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A Prayer for Healing
May I pray for you?
Father God,
I pray for the one reading these words right now. I don’t know what they are facing, but you do. Whether they are in need of physical healing, emotional healing, relationship healing, financial healing, or something else, Lord we trust you to be their healer. You are Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals. You are the Great Physician, our redeemer and restorer. Restore everything to perfect order, Lord. Work all things together for their good and for your glory. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
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Guest Contributor: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

We want to connect with you and encourage you! Click here to join our community of women over at our Sisterhood Conversations page!
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Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, and the author of the bestselling, award winning “Hope Prevails: Insights From A Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and the award winning companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study” and the recently released “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” (Sept 2019). She has been a board certified clinical neuropsychologist for more than twenty years. This doctor knows pain and despair firsthand and combines her professional expertise and personal experience with her faith to help others be all God created them to be. Using sound practical tools, she affirms worth and encourages faith. Dr. Bengtson offers hope as a key to unlock joy and relief—even in the middle of the storm. She and her husband of thirty-two years have two teenage sons and reside in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. She blogs regularly on her own site: http://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com and is on most social media platforms. She is also a host of the award-winning podcast, “Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson” at https://apple.co/2madPRo

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Website: https://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com
Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/
Pinterest:  https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson
Parler: https://parler.com/profile/DrMichelleBengtson/
Podcast: https://apple.co/2madPRo
MeWe: https://www.mewe.com/i/michellebengtson

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1/25/2021

Why We can Trust in Our Hope in God with Rock-Solid Certainty

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Emil Brunner has said, “What oxygen is to the lungs, such is hope to the meaning of life.” Hope. It’s what we all need. Without hope, what reason would we have to live?  

Why do we crave it so desperately? In short, in a world that is so uncertain, we want control. We crave certainty and predictability. The problem with that is that it’s inconsistent with faith.  “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1 KJV).

The thing that God wants more than anything from us is for us to believe in Him, have faith in Him, trust Him, despite our circumstances, despite what we see. Keeping our faith means putting our hope in a God who never lies and always keeps His promises. It means choosing to believe, choosing to put our trust in Him, choosing to hope despite what we see or experience.

Scripture tells us in John 16:33 (NIV), “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” We all experience trials and difficulties: medical diagnoses, job loss, estranged relationships, financial despair, failed marriages, and so much more. Hopelessness gives us no reason to continue fighting, no reason to live. 

In this world, we tend to use the word “hope” when what we really mean is “wishful thinking.” It’s the kind of hope that anticipates something that may or may never happen; things that we long for: “I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow;” “I hope my team wins the game;” “I hope we can get together soon;” “I hope I’m not late for work.” 

This kind of “hope” suggests something that has the potential to be but offers no guarantees. It’s really akin to tossing a coin. That kind of hope is fleeting and unsatisfactory. It does nothing to abate our worry, fear, anxiety, discouragement, or despair, and often leaves us sitting on pins and needles.

That’s not the hope that God offers. Scripture tells us, “Your word is my source of hope” (Psalm 119:114). Those who have a relationship with God are offered a hope that means certainty because we know the God who never fails, never lies, and never breaks His promises.

As we read God’s holy Word, one thing that offers a hope that does not fail is one little word: will. Every time God says, “I will…” it always happens. When He told Abraham that He would bless him and multiply his descendants, it happened. When He told Moses He would harden Pharoah’s heart, He did. When He said He would bless the house of Israel, He did. When He said He would provide a Savior to rescue us, it happened.

During life’s most difficult times, when we need to hold onto something certain at a time when uncertainty rules, we need only look at the promises God has given us, in order for us to have hope:


  1. Nothing takes God by surprise (Jeremiah 29:11).
  2. God is in charge of what happens (Psalm 47:8).
  3. Jesus has overcome the trials of this life (John 16:33).
  4. Even when we are weak, God is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).
  5. No weapon the enemy forms against us will prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
  6. He is still in the miracle making business (Isaiah 53:5, Psalm 118:17).
  7. God has always been and will always be faithful (Deuteronomy 7:9).
  8. God cares about those things that hurt us (Psalm 34:18).
  9. God is continuing to work in us and He won’t give up on us even when we want to give up on ourselves (Philippians 1:6).
  10. God is always with us (Joshua 1:9).
  11. God wants to be our strength (1 John 4:4).
  12. God desires to fight our battle for us (Exodus 14:14).
  13. When we are tempted to become worried, anxious, or afraid, God offers us power, love, and a sound mind instead (2 Timothy 1:7).
  14. God comforts His children so we can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
  15. The only place we will find true, lasting hope is in our relationship with God (Psalm 62:5).

During those times that we are tempted to feel hopeless, we must realize that is because we are putting our trust in people or things that are uncertain and may let us down. Instead, when we will put our hope, our faith, and our trust in God, we know that He will not disappoint. God never fails and never disappoints. We can trust in God, our hope in Him, with rock-solid certainty.

​We want to connect with you and encourage you this week - Click here to join us over in the Sisterhood Conversation group as we dive into hope this month! 

GUEST CONTRIBUTOR: DR. MICHELLE BENGTSON

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Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, and the author of the bestselling, award winning “Hope Prevails: Insights From A Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and the award winning companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study” and the recently released “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” (Sept 2019). She has been a board certified clinical neuropsychologist for more than twenty years. This doctor knows pain and despair firsthand and combines her professional expertise and personal experience with her faith to help others be all God created them to be. Using sound practical tools, she affirms worth and encourages faith. Dr. Bengtson offers hope as a key to unlock joy and relief—even in the middle of the storm. She and her husband of thirty-two years have two teenage sons and reside in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. She blogs regularly on her own site: http://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com and is on most social media platforms. She is also a host of the award-winning podcast, “Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson” at https://apple.co/2madPRo


​

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Website: https://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com
Blog: https://drmichellebengtson.com/category/blog/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson (@DrMBengtson)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/DrMichelleBengtson/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/
Pinterest:  https://www.pinterest.com/Drbhopeprevails/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleBengtson
Parler: https://parler.com/profile/DrMichelleBengtson/
Podcast: https://apple.co/2madPRo
MeWe: https://www.mewe.com/i/michellebengtson
​

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12/14/2020

Do You Feel Distracted?

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I had no idea what was above me. I was focused on the stop sign to the right of me, or the people crossing the street, or changing the radio station in the car that day...I was not caught up in what was above me. But, suddenly - and I can't say why -- I looked up.


There I saw a brilliant display of nature. The sky was gorgeous. It was radiant, blue, red and purple hues strewn all over the sky. It seemed to convey the brilliance, the majesty and the beauty of God all at once. I would have missed it if I had kept my eyes on the million little things happening in front of me. I would have missed it if distraction had a greater hold on me than my desire to look up. I would have missed it if I wasn't aware that there is usually more than meets the eye.


Yet, I looked up. We are told in Scripture to -- look up.


Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Col. 3:2)


Lately, I've been earthly focused. I see politics. I see news articles. I see what is not happening in my world. I see issues with people. I see problems.


Yet, essentially, God tells me -- Kelly, do not set all that -- look up!


I love how Isaiah 40:26 NIV says it... "Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing."


When we look up we don't get discouraged by what's raging all around. When we see higher, we get a higher perspective. When we look at what God has created, we remember He is Creator. We remember He can create a new thing at any time and at any moment. 


This is rest. 


Are you looking up -- remembering God's faithfulness? Giving thanks for what He is doing in your life today? Meditating on His Word? Singing of His goodness? Or, are you stuck in the muck of a million little distractions that are demanding your attention?


God is higher and stronger than everything and anything you may face today. Look up!






About “Rest Now: 7 Ways To Say No, Set Boundaries and Seize Joy”


If you feel overwhelmed, you're not alone. Three out of five people admit to doing more than they can manage. Thinking God requires this, we say, "I must be everything to everyone." Then we struggle and feel selfish and guilty when we say no, grow weary, or snap at someone out of sheer exhaustion. Is this what God desires? Somewhere along the line of being a good Christian, wife, daughter, or friend we lose sight of who we are in Christ. We put our performance above God and who he says we are. But what if we chose a more soul-full way?

Rest Now offers permission to breathe. It exposes the lies that distract, tire, and bully us, so we don't strive for rest but love from it, like Jesus did. Learn how to 

- create boundaries that allow you to overflow with love
- say no so you don't hate yourself later
- ditch passive-aggressive behaviors in favor of healthy conversations
- embrace permission-giving thoughts to create mental space for God
​

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About Kelly Balarie 
Kelly is a Cheerleader of Faith and a Fighter of Fear. She’s a get-on-the-gloves kind of girl. By seeking God’s unending encouragement, she uncovers His deep callings right under the surface of her worst failings. Get all of Kelly’s Purposeful Faith blog posts by email for a dose of inspiration and encouragement. Kelly is a blogger at www.purposefulfaith.com, Crosswalk.com and iBelieve.com. Her work has been featured on Relevant and (in)courage.me, and as the cover story on Today’s Christian Woman. 
​

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9/29/2020

"Leadership" Featuring Pam Smith & Melanie Resendes

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Earlier this year, our team gathered together to pray and decide on topics that we felt the Lord was putting before us to encourage, challenge, and strengthen women around the world this year through our blog, videos, and discussion on the Community. The topic of LEADERSHIP was brought to the table and immediately, two women came to mind... Pam Smith and Melanie Resendes. After talking with them and reading their thoughts on leadership, I (Lyndsay) was in tears. I needed to hear so much of this personally and I felt a big, fat confirmation that our choice in asking them to partner with us on the topic of leadership was 100% the Lord's influence and leading! 

Pam and Melanie desperately love Jesus, their families, and the work God has put before them. While both are Boss Babes, each of them bring different strengths to their teams and have their own leadership style heavily influenced by Jesus and the leading of the Holy Spirit. We are so blessed to call them each a friend and have this conversation together today! I'll let them introduce themselves and we'll let's get this thing started...
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First of all, a little about me. My name is Melanie Resendes.  I am a child of God, a daughter of the King, a wife, a mother, a sister and daughter, a dentist, a business owner, and a girl-boss.  I don’t define myself by any of these earthly things, but they all definitely define me.  I am also an extroverted relater, an academic, and to call me a control freak would be a gross understatement.  Haha!  😊  No seriously, I am 40 years old this year, and have been practicing dentistry since I was 26.  I bought my own practice 8 years ago, and recently (2 months ago!) bought a second dental practice.  I am married to a man who is my complete opposite, whom I love dearly, but who also drives me crazy at times.  I am a mother of 3 – an 18 year old, acquired as a teenager through a very God-led adoption; a 4 year old, my rainbow baby, acquired biologically after a lengthy battle with infertility; and a soon-to-be-born baby girl, who will be making her appearance within the next month!  And yes, if you caught that, I bought a dental practice, while very pregnant, during a pandemic.  That’s pretty much my life.  😊  I try to do too much, to take it all on, to over-achieve.  So that sets the stage for my responses. 
My name is Pam Smith, I am married to Matt, who is an Associate Pastor. I am mother to two beautiful, wonderful and wild children. I work for the YMCA of Greater Richmond as the Senior Operations Director for Youth Development.  My first job was as a full time Children's Minister and Matt was a Youth Minister. Along the way, I started working for the YMCA and now - 14 years later - I help lead the largest provider of childcare in the state of Virginia. What drew me into the YMCA is a dedication to the core values of caring, honesty, respect and responsibility. I truly believe God called me to serve at the YMCA and to witness to children and staff who may never enter the doors of the church. I have the honor and privilege of leading complex, diverse staff teams and sites that span the central region of Virginia. Each day is crazy, both at home and at work - and I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe God calls us to a life of challenge and growth. Also, I love vanilla ice cream, Haribo gummy bears and the color green. 

Lyndsay: So many of us women are leaders in more than just one area of our life and that certainly is true for both of you. Is it hard for you to transition from being a workforce leader to leading in your home? And how does your leadership look different in those two spheres?
Pam: Early in my career, this was a struggle for me - to find my footing in my profession and to be a support system for my husband. After over 16 years of marriage, it comes as second nature. I have learned to embrace that we are each wonderfully complex creations. God has given us talents that are useful in a multitude of ways. I can use my gift of compassion to soothe crying babies in the nursery on Sunday, and my gift of teaching to train 300 staff on the subject of trauma informed care practices on Monday. Both of these gifts are God given and build up the kingdom in different ways. I don't have to be defined by one avenue of my life - and neither do you. I proactively choose to step on the status quo  and to ask myself - what does God require of me today? And then to be bold about serving Him.  At work, I oversee many staff and make decisions that are intricate and high risk. At home, I support my husband and lead my children. I want them to know that Jesus gives us freedom to fearlessly pursue our passion for the glory of HIS KINGDOM.
Melanie: Yes, to be honest, this is one of THE most difficult things for me to do.  I am, by nature, a perfectionist and control freak, so being a home leader in a godly way would be difficult for me no matter what.   But being a “girlboss” and business owner outside of the home makes this even more challenging.  At work, I am the leader; I am the doctor and I wear the “boss” hat.  I make decisions all day long, not only about patients and clinical care, but also regarding human resources and business decisions.  As the owner, there is even added pressure, in that I have no one else to whom I can default questions, or “go up the chain.”  I am IT.  The buck stops with me.  I often feel the weight of it all on my shoulders… not only for my own livelihood, but also for the team members I employ.  So when I get home, it is VERY hard for me to take off that “boss” hat, lay down that perceived need to control it all, and become both a servant leader in my home as well as a teammate and helpmate for my husband.  I find it much easier to stay in that work mindset, trying to micromanage both my kids and my husband, with the expectation that they do things MY way.  It is easy for me to want to keep making all the decisions, to disregard my husband’s input or preferences, or to leave him out of the process altogether! God is continually doing a work in me to learn to let my husband be the leader in our home.  I am working on submitting to his role as head of the home and our marriage, as well as relinquishing that need to control my kids, as this has only caused me endless amounts of stress and frustration! He is also working in me to let that “weight of the world on my shoulders” feeling go, and to rest in the knowledge that HE is ultimately in control.  
    Leading in these two spheres looks similar in some ways, however, as I have found that the most effective way to influence others is to be willing to do myself all that I expect of them.  At work, I am capable and willing to do every aspect of what is needed there.  I will take the trash out, do the laundry, clean a room, schedule a patient, or file charts if needed.  My team members regularly see me willing to do all the things I expect from them, and I think it builds their trust in and respect for me.  At home, I feel most effective when I lead by example as well.  If I expect the kids to make their beds, then I should make mine too.  (I don’t, by the way…. Just in case you wondered. 😊 ) If I want them to read their bible and pray, then they should see me doing those things as well.  If I want them to be kind and respectful, then I must demonstrate that myself as well.  Though I definitely don’t get it all right, I strive to avoid hypocrisy as much as I can, for I believe it undermines my ability to influence well.
Lyndsay: Both of you touched on something... Pam, you said that you ask yourself "What does God require of me today?" and Melanie, you shared about letting God reshape you - particularly as a leader in your home. For many of us, communicating with God when it comes to making decisions about how we lead (or anything for that matter) can be confusing or difficult. What advice would you give other women about connecting with God and confidently moving forward?​
Pam: I think if you are connecting with God on a regular basis and seeking HIS glory and HIS kingdom, you can move confidently forward with whatever God has called you to. I don't stop and wait for confirmation for every decision (for big decisions - YES for sure!) I filter my actions through these layers - is it in God's Word? Is it in God's will (global or personal)? If the answer to these is yes, then I feel like I can move forward with confidence, though the path may not be clear, I know this - God never changes.  Verses that I use to guide my steps include -
James 1:27    “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
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Matthew 25:40    "And the King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me." ​

Lyndsay: On the topic of connecting with God, how does prayer play a role in all the areas you lead?
Melanie: Prayer plays a huge role in my leadership both at home and at work, though I still need it to play an even bigger role.  I am fully aware of my own inadequacies in all areas of my life, so I lean into God and His power to hold me, sustain me, and guide me.  I start my day, most days, by calling on His name, or saying the name of Jesus literally as soon as I sit up in bed each morning.  I rarely ever get enough sleep because I am a night owl and am terrible about going to bed when I know I NEED to, so every morning I’m exhausted when my alarm goes off or I am woken by my four year old.  I call on God to help me even get my feet to the floor.  But, more importantly, I know that I am nothing without His presence and power in my life.  I know I can do nothing apart from Him, but rather can do ALL things with Him who strengthens me.  Having said that, I’m not sure why, but I find it much easier to pray for home life things rather than my work.  It’s natural for me to take my kids and my husband, my heart or attitude, our finances, and our future to Him in prayer.  However, for some reason, though my mind KNOWS that I need to pray over all aspects of my work, it feels like I often allow the enemy to deceive me into thinking that I can somehow do THAT on my own.  It’s a lie, I know.  This is why I need prayer to play an even bigger role in my life.  There have been seasons, when things were especially stressful, or I had big decisions to make at work, where I prayed more about it.  And when I did, God was always faithful to meet me right where I was.  He has blessed my business abundantly, and for that I am eternally grateful.  As I mentioned earlier, He is continually doing a work in me, teaching me to let go of all the weight I feel, both at home AND at work, and to run to Him, to lay it all at His feet, and rest in His care. 
Pam: On my way to work each day I ask God - what would you have me do today in this city? for these children? for this staff? and then I really try to listen and follow through. This has led me to pursue some bold goals at work - to serve thousands more kids - to grow beyond my ability to handle - because I knew God was present in day to day decisions. My staff know that my door is always open for prayer - they know that I care about them, not just as professionals but as people. We have an important job to do, and we will do it well. But, we don't do it alone and I believe praying for each other strenghtens the staff. We begin our meetings with prayer, and in my personal prayer life, I pray for each staff person by name. 
Lyndsay: None of us like to talk about it, but I think it's one of those things that we often pretend "If I can't see it, it's not there,"... however, FAILURE as a leader IS there, we CAN see it, and we HAVE to talk about it. How do you handle failure in leadership? And how can you gain your momentum back when you get knocked down?​
Pam: I think failure is an essential part of leadership. I have failed many times, sometimes TERRIFICALLY.  What makes the difference for my staff is how I handle that failure.  Humility is the only way to go - being able to say, "Team - this one is on me. I am sorry and I will try to do better." People don't expect me to be perfect, but they do expect me to be honest - because that is one of my core values. I think showing the team that I am a flawed leader creates a culture of innovation. We can try pretty much ANYTHING - and we may stumble upon something wonderful in the process. I find this also to be true at home as I lead my family - to be humble enough to say - I messed up - I raised my voice and I am sorry. Let me try again. It models for my children that we all fall short of the the glory of God. Perfection is the enemy - embrace  yourself as a messy work in PROGRESS!
Melanie: Failure in leadership is something with which I am very familiar.  Whether at work or at home, I fail in effective leadership on a regular basis.  I have found, for me, the best thing I can do is humble myself, ask for forgiveness, and try not to make excuses for my behavior or choices.  At work, I have had conversations with my team members, apologizing for a poor choice I made, or a lack of decisive leadership at times.  I will thank them for their patience with me, and ask them to help hold me accountable the next time so that I don’t make the same mistake again.  I have found that humility goes a long way toward rebuilding trust and regaining momentum after I have failed miserably.  At home, I try very hard, when I have lost my temper, raised my voice too loud, or made a bad choice in parenting, to apologize openly to my kids, ask for forgiveness, and not make excuses for my behavior.  Though I find it much easier to blame my kids or my husband for my outburst or my choice, I know that effective leadership lies in humbly taking responsibility for my own actions.  This has helped rebuild my kids’ trust and respect for me time and time again, and opens the door to regaining that momentum after a failure.  
Lyndsay: Both of you focused on humility being a key factor in your rebuilding after failure. I can attest to that truth! Continuing on, John Maxwell has a great quote that, I think, hits on both success and failure in leadership, "Everything rises and falls on leadership." What do you think about that statement from Maxwell? Have you seen any truth in that?
Pam: Yes I see lots of truth in that statement. Another John Maxwell quote that I embrace is "Speed of the leader, speed of the team." I have to model for my team, what I expect from my team. It is my responsibility to consistently put the mission in front of them and then head for it myself - as I require of them. I have to be firm, fair and consistent. A staff that knows what to expect from me, can reach and exceed those expectations. I want the staff to know that I will give them the same answer, no matter who asks me, on what day of the week, and no matter my mood. 
Lyndsay: While the juggling of motherhood and working outside the home doesn't apply to every woman, I think every woman can find a way to relate to the problem of "finding balance" in our lives. So, Melanie... what does balance look like for you?
Melanie: The work/life balance….  Is there really such a thing??  😊  I am just like many working moms I know… when I’m at work, I feel guilty for not being at home.  When I’m at home, I feel like there are things I should or could be doing for work and I’m thinking about how to improve or grow my business.  So balance can be very difficult!!  Fortunately, I have always worked in a field with only a four-day work week, so I’ve always had an extra day to “get things done” at home.  Balancing work with my marriage was easier in the beginning, as I had copious amounts of time to devote to our home and him.  However, when I became a mother a few years ago, I struggled to find this so-called balance.  And it’s still a challenge!  After my son was born, I took a lot of time off for maternity leave, and then chose to hire another associate dentist to work a day a week to allow me to be home another day with him.  This has been a huge financial sacrifice, but one I was willing to make to allow me to find the best of both worlds at home and at work.  Still, because I own my business, the work never really ends, and I have to discipline myself regularly to focus on being PRESENT with my family when I am home.  I try to enjoy all the little things and live in the moment when I’m home – to leave my work at work as much as possible, and to make every moment count.  Likewise, when I’m at work, though my family comes first, I try to leave all my home stress at the door and focus my energy on my team and my patients.  My philosophy is, if I’m going to work, then I need to work at it with all of my heart, as though working for the Lord, and not for men.  (Colossians 3:23)  God has called me into dentistry and business ownership, and I take that calling seriously.  He uses me daily to bless people with my gifts, talents, and expertise, and I see my work as part of my ministry.  He has also called me to marriage and motherhood, so I take that seriously as well.  I have had to get really good at not being “perfect”, to use my free time wisely and efficiently (by the way, I am TERRIBLE at this!!), and to take help wherever I can get it.  Though I want to “do it all”, I just can’t.  My mom used to help me with laundry quite a bit when she would keep my son while I was at work.  At one point, pre-Covid, we hired a housekeeping service to come clean every 2 weeks so at least SOME housework got done sometimes!!  😊 And we recently hired a nanny who is incredibly gifted at teaching my four year old all the letters and numbers that I just couldn’t seem to get through his head!!  She is doing some pre-K lessons with him, and I have had to let go of my expectation that I should be able to be everything to everybody – supermom, superwife, and superboss.  Like I said, it’s still a struggle, and a work in progress.  But God is faithful to uphold me, sustain me, and provide.
Lyndsay: Okay, last question. What would you say is the most important leadership principle to live by or the best leadership advice you've been given?
Pam: I think the principle of stewardship is incredibly important. Especially in today's instant gratification society. Very rarely, do you start with the dream. You have to start with what God gives you and be a faithful steward.

Luke 16:10 - "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much".

As you show yourself faithful to the calling - God will enlarge the territory (as in the Prayer of Jabez). You must be faithful in the little things - taking out the trash each night, being kind when no one sees, honesty in finances, keeping your word to those around you. As God works in your heart through these little things - He will increase the boundaries of your leadership. In one of my early roles within the YMCA, we started with 25 students in one site. We worked hard, gained trust and poured our hearts into those students. Seven years later, when I left that position, we were serving over 300 students daily in 13 different schools. Stewardship and faithfulness -  at the end of my life I want to hear these words.... 

Matthew 25:21 - "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master!'
Melanie: As I’ve mentioned before, I think the most important leadership principles are both humility – willingness to admit failure without making excuses for your actions – and the desire to avoid hypocrisy, by being willing to do yourself whatever you are asking of others.  They go hand in hand, in my opinion, and have been principles that have served me well over the years.  Godly leadership also requires an intentional commitment to seeking the Father’s will through prayer and worship, and time spent listening to His voice -- learning to discern HIS voice amid all the other “noise” of life.  God is faithful to uphold, sustain, guide, and speak – we need only to listen. 
Melanie and Pam, thank you both for letting us glean from your fields here on the blog. We've got some real nourishment, encouragement, and refreshment from you both today! We appreciate your candor, vulnerability, and wisdom. You both have some deep wells and we are so so grateful for you, your ministries, and all that God is doing in you, through you, and around you. 

​We'd love to continue this conversation with all of you beautiful women on the Community so head over there and let's chat!

Did God speak to you through this conversation today?

What is He showing you?

How can we support you or champion you to grow in leadership and obey Jesus more today than yesterday?


You are so loved, 

Pretty & Wise Co.

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7/29/2020

Our Identity Crisis

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“…in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.” 
Romans 4:17b ESV
Who are you? To be honest, the issue of identity has plagued me for years. When asked the ever-common question like “tell me about yourself,” I’ve always wanted to curl up in a ball. I’ve never felt like the person I imagined I would become actually came true. Over the years, when the struggle of infertility seemed to define me, I’ve had a hard time fighting despair over what I felt my life was supposed to look like and the loss of my own expectations. To be honest, I only based my identity on fragile circumstances I thought I could control, and when I realized I had no control it was sort of hard to put one foot in front of the other.

For us, infertility meant building our family in a different way, through adoption. Adoption is born of loss. At the same time, adoption is a thing of exquisite beauty. Strangers become family, not through blood, but through intention. So much so, that studies have shown increased oxytocin levels in caretakers who were involved parents. The long and short of it is that even though you didn’t biologically birth a child, your blood chemistry can change based on care and commitment. But if we were living in a perfect world, adoption would not be necessary. 

When my husband and I started the adoption process, loss was one of the biggest training points in our adoption education. Everyone in the “adoption triad” (the birth family, adoptive family, and adoptee) generally come to adoption with a sense of loss. Adoptive parents may have suffered from infertility or miscarriages, birth mothers face the fact that they won’t be able to raise the child they carried, and adoptees will have to come to grips throughout their life with their identity that their families look different than everyone else’s. Older children who are adopted, even into loving homes, have vivid memories of their first parents and the trauma they endured. They often have a difficult time wrestling with their new reality or identity even if it is a good one. Oddly enough, they sometimes long for their first families even if they are in a more stable, loving, and permanent situation now. 

Sometimes, as believers we can also struggle with identity. We want to embrace God’s promise that we are children of God, but we are confronted daily with our past sin, pain, loss, and disappointment. We long for stability, yet we put our identity in things that are temporary. 

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor the will of man, but of God.” 
​
John 1:12 ESV

​Our daughter is almost three years old and lately we watch a lot of animated movies (Thank you Disney plus!) If you’re not a fan of animation or Disney, bear with me for a moment, I promise I have a point. One of our daughter’s favorite movie series is Toy Story. In Toy Story 4, we’re introduced to Forky, a beloved friend and toy Bonnie, his kid owner, creates from items destined for the trash. Forky has a crisis of identity for most of the movie because he still believes he is trash and keeps running back to the trash can. The main character, Woody, keeps telling him, painstakingly, that Bonnie loves and values him. It takes much convincing for Forky to believe he does not belong in the trash bin. How many of you can relate? Knowing intellectually that we are loved by God but continually choosing the worthless things of this world because we don’t believe down deep that God’s love satisfies. God’s word tells us that we are holy and that we have great value, but yet often we do not feel holy. We do not feel like children of God. We do not feel worthy. We do not feel enough. Our past struggles sometimes scream at us that we are damaged, and even though it’s a lie, it feels more controllable to rely on the lie instead of trust in the whispers of God telling us the opposite. This leaves us disconnected from the one thing we truly need. 
​

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” 
​
Genesis 1:27 NIV
“And just as we have borne the image of the earthly man, so shall we bear the image of the heavenly man.” 
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1 Corinthians 15:49 NIV
“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.”
​Romans 5:6 ESV
Simply put, sisters, God tells us who we are. We bear His image. The God who created every marvelous thing in nature, created us. Just as Bonnie fashioned Forky out of items that were destined for the trash and created her most valuable toy, God created us with design, intention and gives us our value. Christ became sin and gave his very life for us so that we could be saved from destruction. If we identify with our circumstances, we’ll find fear, brokenness and insufficiency. But just like Forky, we must constantly remind ourselves of who we are in Christ until His voice is louder than the voice of the enemy who tells us we are damaged. We must draw close to him as our Dad, even when we feel disconnected to that reality. 

God is saying to us, “You are mine, and I take joy in you. You are my heart.” That kind of miraculous love is transformative, isn’t it?  When we believe that, miracles are possible. God is not limited by bloodlines or brokenness. The same God who grafted wild branches into a natural tree is more than capable to transform sinful or broken orphans into children of God.  
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“After all, if you were cut out and grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. After all, if you were cut out of an olive tree that is wild by nature, and contrary to nature were grafted into a cultivated olive tree, how much more readily will these, the natural branches, be grafted into their own olive tree.”
​Romans 11:24
​Sometimes answers to the past are not readily found, but God is always near even when we don’t understand. Living in our new identity is a choice to believe in the unseen. We must cross the divide from what we know to be true and step out in faith as if our heart believes that it is true. We intentionally choose to walk in the truth of who God says we are, even when our circumstances don’t live up to what the world views as success. And when we do, we step back and watch the miracle maker write a story more fantastic than we could’ve ever written.

WRITTEN BY: LORI GREGORY

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