Written by: Angie ReeseA beautiful Christian sister of mine and I taught Bible class together for a while in the Richmond area. We were tasked with teaching middle schoolers, which is not for the faint of heart. She was so amazing and wanted to teach them a verse from the Bible that would make them better people. Something impactful. Something true to all Christians. What she came up with was amazing. She selected a section of verses from Philippians chapter 2.
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is ours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking on the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” (verses 3-7) When I think about authenticity, I think about this verse. Putting ourselves second and looking to the interests of others. Even Jesus, who has the right to sit beside God on the throne, took on the form of a servant. Wow! Another verse that comes to mind is Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” These verses put some serious responsibility on us as Christians. “As it depends on us” suggests that we are in control of the situation and ourselves. When we are authentically seeking Christ, shouldn’t these two verses speak to us differently? Authenticity is about staying true to yourself and your values. These two verses are asking us to do just that. Being so authentic that we can put others before us in ways that the world thinks is ridiculous, but that God puts value in. My oldest daughter, of whom I have shared so much about over the years, has decided many things over the last two years that I disagree with. She is old enough that even as her mother I have to allow her to make those mistakes separate from myself. Is it possible to disagree with someone on such a basic level and still love them? Still talk to them? Still be a part of their lives? These verses tell me yes. I think of her first. I keep the peace because it does depend on me. I tell her I love her and disagree with her life choices. I have to stay authentic to my own self and belief in God and His will. I have to stay strong and speak truth into her life and wisdom into her life. Being an authentic Christian is not for the faint of heart - like teaching middle schoolers. But at the end of that study with those middle schoolers we saw a change in them. They memorized the verses, even framed them! They really took them to heart and allowed God and His authentic word to enter in their lives. I pray that the same thing eventually happens with my daughter as well. When we stay true to God’s will, he will bless our efforts. It won’t always look perfect, of course, but the reward He promises is pretty amazing. Father, help me to be authentic to my belief in you and your word. Help us as mothers and grandmothers, aunts, and sisters to set an example of peace and love. Let us put others before ourselves in a way that shows you and your love. Be with our children as they walk through the confusion of life and allow them to remain true to themselves and you. Amen.
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Guest Writer: Monique UrtonI have written this over and over countless times. Truth is when I was asked to write this, I was just starting a season of figuring out who I was. I was asked months ago, and as I have gone through several different rough drafts, I wasn’t sure any of those were where God was leading me to write. My first instinct was to look at other articles to see how other people wrote them so I could get an idea of how I needed mine to be. I do not see myself as a writer, so I was intimidated at first. I do write poetry, but I feel like that is a completely different ballgame. I found it to be ironic in a sense that I was comparing other articles to how I should write mine about AUTHENTICITY. How can I truly be authentic if I am not confident in the words that God gave me to write? The definition of Authentic as stated in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is: 1 a: worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact paints an authentic picture of our society 2: not false or imitation : REAL, ACTUAL an authentic cockney accent 3: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character I believe authenticity is being who God created us to be in His full image. To not pretend to be something we are not. This means, we have to accept every part of who we are, flaws and all. The things we see to be a hindrance, may be the one thing that brings glory to God. In the same sense, the things we think we can do might not at all be what we were called to do. You cannot work yourself into being something you are not. You cannot change who you are no matter how hard you work at it. It is not our works, but His purpose. 2 Timothy 1:9 “He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.” I was blessed with many talents, not bragging, I feel like it is the one thing that holds me back from being authentic. I started to throw big birthday parties every year since my oldest was one. I would get compliments on how good of a mother I was. After all, the handmade cake, banners and favors really show how good of a mother I am. It made me feel good, especially because that was my main goal, to be the best mother, to make sure I was nothing like my own mother. I started to earn my identity from that, though unintentional. But that isn’t who I am, nor who God called me to be. I was indeed not a good mother based on my talents. I am a good mother because I am imperfect and show my kids that no matter how many times I fall, I will always turn to God and He will never leave me. I say sorry often, and try to show them how to repent and to do better. We are not our talents, we are not our works, though we are called to do good works, our relationship with God comes first. How can we know who we are if we do not know who God is? How do we know who God is and who He says we are if we do not spend time with Him? Find out who you are, take time to truly know who He is. I feel most authentic, when I am completely surrendering to what He is calling me to. When I am completely weak, but show up and realize that He can use me when I feel completely useless. He calls us to know Him, to have relationship with Him. Jeremiah 9:24 “But the one who boasts, boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord. I wouldn’t fully be authentic if I didn’t add a poem, because I love writing poetry, and I feel that is where I can fully express myself in the best way with the least amount of words. Authenticity you have created me to be more than I can ever see Whether I’m on the mountain or in the valley, you never leave you have called me out of the deepest pits Even in the times where I didn’t want to exist Gave me purpose showed me what my worth is I tried to do good works to please you But I learned that my value is more than what I can do It’s who I am, because of who you made me to be The light that shows up when the darkness flees We are not measured by how many times we fall, but rather how we stand through it all I count it joy to be faced with trials Though I wish it didn’t last for miles and miles Joy isn’t based on my circumstances it’s based on where my faith is Stand guard and keep a lookout Sometimes it’s best to whisper when we want to shout Letting go of who I thought I was It’s amazing what surrendering does I am loved On the highest mountain Flowing abundantly Redundantly Like a fountain You call on me How will I answer if I don’t know who I can be Authentically The best version of who you say I am Sitting still like Daniel in the lion’s den I am learning that letting go isn’t giving up, It’s stepping aside so Jesus can fill my cup So I encourage you to sit still and allow God to speak to you. I have to shut the World out when I listen too much to who people tell me I am, and not who God says I am.
Guest Writer: Laura TerryAuthenticity. I’m hearing this word a lot these days. When you read it, what comes to mind? Usually, the intended meaning is to be genuine, honest, forthright, and true-to-yourself –unapologetically so. These are suitable uses for the word and do encompass a partial view of what authenticity means. However, I think there is a bigger, more meaningful definition of the word that is missing in how it’s used today. To be authentic means to be something original to a place and/or made by a creator. For example, the Louvre in Paris contains the painting Mona Lisa, an authentic work of art by Leonardo da Vinci. People have reproduced it, been inspired by it, and taken their photograph with it, but there is only one authentic Mona Lisa. Similarly, my grandfather has an authentic helmet issued by the US Army during the Korean War. He could take it on Antiques Roadshow and valuers would classify it as authentic because it was actually made during and for the War. Both the helmet and the painting are authentic because of where they came from and who made them. Similarly, our most complete form of authenticity comes from God, our creator. To be truly authentic, we must not only be true to ourselves, but more so be true to who God created us to be. The Mona Lisa is only authentic because it was made by Da Vinci. It cannot be authentic separate from the one who created it. We cannot be truly authentic separate from God. Our completeness and wholeness and trueness come when Christ is in us and we are living our lives, not true to ourselves and how we want to, but true to God and how he made us to live. Galatians 2:20 says “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Here Paul is saying that once we receive the Holy Spirit, it is no longer us living in our own will and being true to ourselves, but us living out God’s will by Christ’s example and being true to His Spirit residing in us. Paul is such a great biblical example of authenticity. Before his conversion on the road to Damascus, he (called by his Hebrew name, Saul, at that time) was living quite true to himself and his own beliefs, and unashamedly so. He was persecuting Christians without remorse, and in fact believing he was right to do so. He was living out our current societal definition of authenticity. However, we do not see him actually living a full authentic life until after his conversion when he receives Christ as his Savior and begins his mission to live out God’s will in his life. Only then does Paul (now using a Gentile name in the mission field) say in Ephesians 5, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” This, I believe, is biblical authenticity: To live in the example of Christ, who often stated where he came from and Who he came from; to have our souls filled with the Holy Spirit and to unashamedly show this to the world; and, to be living in the will of God, our maker, who has purposed our lives from the very beginning, and who knows us better than we know ourselves. Sisters, hear me say that I know this can be hard. We can feel comfy and cozy at home with Jesus, but stepping into the world feels dangerous and judgmental and full of temptation to stray from our authentic life in Christ. The worldly view of authenticity, to just be yourself—any “self” is fine—without apology, is much easier. But it isn’t fuller. It is only as true as the length of your earthly life. But, sis, we were made for more by the One who loves us more—much, much more. God, my Maker and Creator, help me to live an authentic life. Not one that relies on my own thoughts, feelings, and ideas, but one that desires to be in line with Your will and the intentions You set out for my life. In following You, let me feel the wholeness of Your goodness for my life and satisfaction in Your purpose over me. You are so good and in Christ, your son, my Savior, I find the perfect example of authenticity. Amen. Sis, here's to living our fullest, authentic life! Love, Laura written by: Alexandria Brown![]() Authenticity. I feel like that word, authenticity, has been so used and abused in both good and bad ways. It has become such that when we hear it said that it’s meaning has been diminished and/or tainted. We hear you must be your authentic self, true to your heart. Meanwhile the Bible tells us that, the heart is wicked above all else. I was curious with all of what we are experiencing nowadays so I looked up the definition of what authentic means. The original definitions says things like: Genuine, truthful, honest, undisputed origin, being actually and exactly what is claimed. Then, I was shocked to find the “new meaning of authentic” that it can be believed or accepted. All throughout Psalms, Proverbs, and most of the Bible we see how important it is to live a life, not just righteous on the outside, but on the inside as well. We see over and over that God looks at the heart. He knows our plans and intentions as well as our actions. Over and over again Jesus calls out the Pharisees for their outward actions not being authentic, genuine, real. I have to admit sometimes my outward actions are not a great testament to what is going on on the inside. Sometimes my life does not accurately reflect what is going on around me and in me. Sometimes, I push and I pull and I do and do and do and I choose not to come into His presence. Sometimes, I am unwilling to let go of control. Sometimes... Let me tell you about and interaction I had with my daughter a couple weeks ago. My daughter is on our worship team rotation about every 6 weeks. My children are young and do not drive (thank God, I’ve seen them on the power wheels and ATVs) which means that when mom and dad have to be at the church early for practice or service prep they have to come as well. Sometimes they help set things up and other times they get personal time with phones or games or friends during practices before service. They know that as soon as preservice starts that they need to put things away and that it is God’s time now. Our focus, our attention is on Him and what He wants to do. (They really are amazing to watch.) This particular Sunday my child missed a good chunk of one of the services because “she didn’t feel like it.” At the end of service she asked if I would put her on next batch of scheduling for worship. My response to her was simple. If you can’t worship off of stage, you won’t worship on stage. This is one of our core beliefs for our team and it was not a punishment rather a simple reminder which she understood. As the day went on, turns out this reminder was not only for her. Over the next week or so I felt the Lord reminding me over and over again of that simple statement. If you don’t worship off of stage, you won’t worship on stage. Don’t get me wrong, I had been praying and doing my duties, going through the motions. AND I knew that that was no longer enough. I had not been going to God with the struggles and hurdles that I had been experiencing. He already knew them, but I was not allowing Him the opportunity to move in those areas. I had it. I could do it. I was in control. I was wrong. I was coming to God with a “fake it till you make it” type of attitude. I know the scriptures. I know that God already knows. That nothing surprises Him. That He wants to be involved. He wants me to give Him my burdens and cares. And still I was not authentically worshiping Him the way He hoped I would. Our worship, our love for God is not a to do list. It’s not when things are only good or only bad. It is constant. It is growing. God doesn’t want me to wait until I have it all figured out. I think that in order for me to truly be authentically me I need to first and foremost be my genuine self with God. He is safe. He already knows everything anyways. I can trust Him and so can you. Happy, sad, mad, or glad - He wants you! Talk to Him. Listen to Him. Let that become who you are not just in public but in the quiet place where you wait on the Lord. I promise you He will come. Written by: Tanya Glanzman![]() The world has identified a condition coined as Imposter Syndrome. It’s basically when an individual struggles to believe that they are deserving of the role they fill or the way they are viewed by others. Despite education, achievements, experience or skills, those that struggle with this condition cannot internalize their identity to the degree that they ever settle into it. There resides within them a fear or paranoia that they will eventually be found by others to be unworthy of the role, title or position that they currently hold. The “answer,” it seems according to psychology experts, is that these individuals learn to stop being a perfectionist and begin to focus on their concrete expertise and accomplishments. As I contemplated writing on Identity this week, this syndrome came to mind. I thought gracious, who hasn’t, at some point, struggled with Imposter Syndrome as a child of God? Which of us hasn’t looked at the evidence of our choices, our thought life, our fruit if you will, and felt that we were not worthy of the calling to which we have been called. Our answer is different from that which Psychology today offers, thank goodness. We don’t settle into our identity as a Daughter of the King by focusing more upon our achievements, or our greatness. The evidence would always be against us. We would always fall short. There is nothing we could ever DO that would deem us worthy to be chosen as His. 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV) But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. You see, beautiful Daughter, you were CHOSEN. It brings my remembrance to a Facebook post I viewed recently about a little girl that was taken into an animal shelter. The parents were allowing her to choose the four legged creature that would become the next and newest member of their family. The little girl, perhaps 3 or 4 years old, walked by the cages of the potential adoptees. She was drawn to and stood face to face with a puppy that was well-beyond its puppy years. She was stinky, cowering and missing clumps of fur due to lack of care. The little girl looked through the bars of the cage and just kept saying “Mommy, puppy needs help.” When they took the dog outside to the “getting to know you” area, initially, it shrunk back. Not used to being loved on or played with, it took some time for her to understand that she was with a safe person who had chosen her. Despite her age, her stinkiness or her frail appearance, this one was the one that had been chosen. The post fast-forwarded later in time. Admittedly, tears sprang forth as I viewed the current life and position of this chosen one. It was clear that the once unloved was now loved deeply. She was cherished and treasured and cared for. Not because of anything she had done. It was in her most humble and vulnerable state that she had been chosen. In this case, her role and position had been determined solely by the one who chose. Isn’t it funny how God will speak to your heart in the most unconventional ways? And so are we daughters of God. In our most humble and vulnerable state, we were chosen by The Chooser. 1 John 4:19 (NKJV) We love Him because He first loved us. And now, our identity has been firmly established not because of how great we are, what we have done or do or how perfect we can be, but only because of the kindness, grace and mercy of The One who chose to call us His own. In our stinkiest and most unlovely state He chose you, He chose me and He decided that He would love us as His very own. Ultimately, our identity in Christ is not and has never been about us at all. And so, cherished one, the next time the enemy of your soul works to get your eyes focused on all of the reasons you are not worthy to be a Child of God, you can delight in agreeing with him. You, and I, are not worthy outside of Christ. We could never do or be enough to deserve the love He has lavished upon us. When we struggle with Imposter Syndrome as a Daughter of the King, here’s our answer from the truth of God’s Word. John 1:12 (ESV) But to all that did receive Him, who believed in His name, he gave the right to become children of God. Jesus. He is our answer. The only answer that we can ever give regarding why we are not imposters in our identity as a Daughter of the King. It’s not based on us. It’s based on Him. Always has been, always will be. Pray with me…. Father, thank you for being my chooser. Thank you for allowing me to be your daughter. Thank you that there is nothing I could ever do or that could be done to me that can change this. Thank you that no matter what anyone else thinks or feels about me, my identity as your daughter, your chosen treasure, your precious one, has been determined and is not able to be changed. For this, I am grateful. When I am tempted Father to focus on those things which cause me to feel unworthy, I ask that you re-focus them upon Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. Amen. Written By : Olivia Caldwell![]() “She wanted Jesus above all else, even above serving Him.” Late last night before bed, I opened up The Jesus Book. I was simply hungry to know more of Jesus. I think part of me wanted to know about Him, rightfully so, but another part of me seemed to not expect to be so directly confronted by one sentence. For a book that aims to make Jesus known and for the reader to love Him more, I should not have been surprised that things in the way of loving Him would need to be torn down. I love to serve. I really do. I love the parts of my life where I have been given the opportunity to serve. In its purest form, all service is compelled by Love and done as unto the Lord. This story of Mary and Martha, though. “As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42) Jesus was right there in the room and Martha was serving Him. Doesn't it seem right to serve the King when He enters your home? “Is there anything that you want, Lord? What do you need? I will do it!” What kind of King only desires one thing? What kind of King prefers a sitting at his feet over being served? Jesus says there is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary discovered it. And it would never be taken from her. We were created to love and be loved. We were created to know and to be known. Sometimes it's easier to do, to serve. Sometimes we are so convinced that we need to be doing something to show that we love Him. Sometimes we are convinced that we need to do something in order to be worth something. Sometimes we are deceived or fearful. I think sometimes we avoid sitting at His feet because we are afraid. It is hard to sit. To be still. It is hard to cease doing. But if you really think about it, it should not be difficult to do so. If we believe that Jesus is the source of everything, our worth, our salvation, our time, that he is our treasure and our reward, and if we believe that He is everything, then it should be easy to stop and to rest in that. If we are up and doing, it can feel more significant. We can feel more productive, like we have more worth. We think that Jesus needs us to be up and doing, but He doesn't need us at all. He simply desires one thing, calls one thing worth being concerned about. It's not too good to be true. It is counter intuitive, but it is true. It feels like not enough but Jesus says it is of the utmost importance. Yes, we have been commissioned. Yes, we have a call. Yes, there are works that God has prepared in advance for us to do. But first. But first. We are to discover for ourselves that one thing worth being concerned about. Then, just like Mary, it will not be taken from us. Lord Jesus, we stop here and now and simply rest at your feet. Lord, help us to love you. Help us to know you. Help us to adore you. Help us to want you above all else. Above all else, Lord, we long to desire you. Oh, let this be true, that one thing we desire, Lord, and only this we seek: that we may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of our lives, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple (Psalm 27:4). Lord, all that we are is found in you. All of our worth, all that you call us and have created us to be is found in you. Teach us as we sit at your feet. Teach us to live a life from your feet. Teach us to live from your rest. Teach us to live as your daughters, as your created and beloved ones. Show us to truly walk in your freedom, purchased at the highest price. Let us not squander this gift, Lord. Let all of our days be lived in light of the cross. Thank you, Jesus. It is in your precious name that we pray, amen. Written By: Lyndsay Terry![]() I'm about to say something that is probably going to bother you, but hang tight... It has become a fad for people, most commonly millennials, to label themselves as suffering from a mental illness e.g. anxiety, depression, panic attacks, PTSD, etc. Can I just say this...if you have not been officially diagnosed by a mental health professional (i.e. a DOCTOR), you most definitely should not attribute any of those labels to yourself. I do not care how sure you are that you suffer from generalized anxiety disorder or that you are clinically depressed. If you believe you are suffering from a mental illness, please, for your wellbeing, go see a mental health professional and begin treatment, let your church family surround you in prayer and support, find a healthy hobby, stay connected to other people, take all your burdens to God as often as you feel their weight. Don't go this alone. Don't wait for things to calm down. Don't talk yourself out of it. Don't think for even one moment that you don't need help. But labeling yourself without a diagnosis only belittles those who are suffering horrific pain and increases some of the stigmas surrounding mental illness. I have had several diagnoses over the past decade concerning my mental health. Initially, I was diagnosed as having Generalized Anxiety Disorder and severe Panic Attacks. A few years later, we added Major Depressive Disorder to the list along with Insomnia. A few months following that, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was also on my diagnosis sheet. After seeing my doctor and therapist a couple of times a week for several months and changing medication after medication trying to find something to help ease the pain of these mental illnesses, we made a sobering discovery. I wasn't depressed. I wasn't anxious. I didn't suffer from PTSD. I was Bipolar. I. WAS. BIPOLAR. Let me just tell you, coming to grips with that label was one of the scariest things I have been through in my life. If I accepted the label "bipolar", what would that say about me? What would that say about my faith? The story behind this journey and diagnosis is for another time, but tonight, I just want to share with you a truth God revealed through this time that altered my world and the course of my life. Our words become worlds. I came to know that truth in some very painful ways, but I'm a better woman for it. Proverbs 18 tells us that our words have the power of life and death in them, James 3 tells us that our words determine the course of our lives and if not carefully guarded, it can start a fire that will burn our world to ash around us. Unfortunately, for a time in my life, I let the term "bipolar" become the focus of all my thought life and conversations with myself and a select few. It consumed me. I was speaking death over myself day and night. Because of my agreement with the enemy that I would never find balance, I would never feel free again, I would never find peace, I burned my world to the ground. I was on the brink of losing everything good in my life. The words of hopelessness I had spoken over my life had become the world in which I was living. The atmosphere inside me had become the atmosphere around me. Whether it is because of a very real diagnosis or the trend of a generation, we make mental illness our friend. We invite it to come to hang out with us day and night. We give it much more attention than we give the God who heals. We agree with our lack, so much so that I would dare say we revel in our lack. We wear it as a badge of honor instead of embracing the truth that we were not made to be broken. We were not created to carry a design flaw. Brokenness entered the world through agreement with Satan in the Garden of Eden. Why are we still agreeing with him? I have been diagnosed as Bipolar. It is a mental illness I live with, but it does not define who I am. You won't hear me talking all over Facebook about the anxiety it produces, posting article after article about the debilitating depression or funny memes about the insanity of a full-blown manic episode. Why is that? Because I do NOT agree with that destiny in my life. Yes, it's so important to erase the stigma surrounding mental illness, but it is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT to introduce hurting people to a healing God! It is so much more important to inject HOPE into a hopeless diagnosis. I agree with the destiny God himself laid out for me before time began. I agree with the HEALER who promises by his wounds I will be healed physically and spiritually. I agree with the God who created me for HOPE and FUTURE. I believe that death and sickness have no place in Heaven and I am a citizen of Heaven! I am a child of the Most High God. I don't have the time or the right to agree with the enemy that I am doomed to suffer, that I will always fear social situations, that answering the phone will always be a nightmare to me, that I will never overcome crippling depression, that I will always fear losing control during mania. And let me testify...those things used to rule me, but after years of work with the Lord and SO MUCH HEALING, those things aren't the facts of my life anymore! I can answer a phone without anxiety, I'm comfortable in most social situations, and depression doesn't have a firm grip on me anymore. I could go on and on about how God has healed me and delivered me from emotional and mental suffering. Am I still Bipolar? Yes. But it doesn't define me or rule my life anymore. MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN THAT DIAGNOSIS. Yes, He has allowed me to walk this portion of my journey, and perhaps the rest of my journey on this side of Heaven, with a diagnosis, but HE provides my stability and HE provides my hope. Instead of focusing and glorifying the pain I've carried, I will focus on and glorify the One who takes my pain and bears my burdens. He can and will heal our sickness. He can and will bring strength to our weakness. So friends, can we stop labeling ourselves "ANXIOUS PERSON" and instead take on the label God ascribes? Can we quit making our sickness more important than the Healer? Can we quit drawing attention to ourselves and our sufferings and instead draw all eyes toward Heaven to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine? Can we quit letting anything other that God tell us who we are? Let's put our faith to the test and start agreeing with God. I WILL NOT live a life defined by anxiety and fear. I WILL NOT live a life defined by depression. I WILL NOT live a life defined by a diagnosis. No matter how true it may be, the TRUTH is my God supplies all my needs. His resources are endless and He has and will move Heaven and earth for me. If the things we say have life and death in them, I'm going to start speaking some life into my circumstances. If the words we say can burn our worlds to the ground or alter the path of our lives, I'm going to set my eyes right on Jesus, not my problems, and start agreeing with what He says about who I am. So, sister, are you with me? Written by: Angie Reese![]() Identity is one of those things that we build almost without thinking. It starts when we are young and our parents pour into us with positive praise and encouragement. At least I hope that is your story. Some people don’t get much of that positive praise. They either get no feedback or negative feedback. And sometimes we get a little of all of it. So when all of this gets jumbled up inside our heads, we somehow decide “this is me” and “this is not me”. If you’re like me, somehow you have let some of that negative feedback influence you a little too much. So how do we rebuild that positive? We look to God and see what He says about us! The perfect place to do this is in Ephesians chapters 1 and 2. These two chapters are full of wonderful things we can latch onto as part of our identity. Eph. 1:5 “He predestined us for adoption…” Even if you haven’t had the pleasure of adopting a child or knowing someone who has, there is a terribly special kind of love involved. One that amazes me. I have a friend who has adopted two little girls and the love she has for those two is beautiful. I have a cousin who is adopted and the love the family shows her is also amazing. The love that God has for us as adopted sons and daughters is powerful and special. Let that begin the building of your identity. Eph 1:11 “In him we were also chosen…” Not only adopted, but also chosen! Out of all the beautiful things that God has created on this earth we are CHOSEN. That just feels good. To be chosen is to be wanted. Isn’t that a basic need we all crave? Someone wants us. God wants us. Eph 1: 13b “When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,” When I read this I see a physical mark - like a special birthmark - that we have. A badge maybe that we can show people and say “Look! I am special! God gave this to me!” And all the things we know about the power of the Holy Spirit. Wow. Please notice that this special mark comes when we become believers in Him. It’s something we get when we decide that we want our identity to become intertwined with God. What other amazing gifts do we get when we believe and build our identity in God and Christ? Eph 2:5 “Made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved.” We have been made alive and received grace. Alive - have you ever met someone that wasn’t in this category and they still just walked around? Being alive in Christ should give us a vigor and pep that helps us define ourselves. Grace is an amazing gift for our broken lives. It is like the glue that holds it all together. Without it we would have to work so hard to be and do all the things we were “supposed to” in order to receive salvation. Instead, it is a free gift we can never earn, we just accept. And I do hope that you have chosen to accept it! Eph 2:19 “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household,” I have the privilege of being able to travel to Brazil in the summer and participate in mission work. My husband and I have some wonderful friends that we consider family down there, but even as often as we have gone and as much as we are loved, we are still foreigners. There is nothing so refreshing as getting off that plane after days of hearing a language not your own and suddenly you are back on American soil. Home. Not a stranger anymore. A citizen. And even more sweet is when I have been gone for so long and I walk into my own home. My household (usually the kiddos and in-laws who have been watching them) welcomes me with an acceptance and love that no other place offers. This is another thing we have in Christ. When we are God’s people we have a place to belong. A foundation to build upon. A refuge when we forget who we are. I know identity goes far beyond and far deeper than what I have talked about here, but this is a good place to start. As daughters of the King of kings we have so many wonderful parts to our identity. If nothing else tells you how special and loved you are, Christ died for you. Even if you haven’t accepted Him, he died for you. He waits for you to clothe yourself in Him so He can build your identity on these beautiful things. Adoption, being chosen, receiving the Holy Spirit, Grace, and a home. Lord, thank you for giving us the gifts you have given us. Please help us to base our identity in you and these things instead of the negative that we have heard from the enemy and his followers of the world. Guide us in reading your word and listening to your voice as we build ourselves into the daughters you want us to be. Written by: Gay IdleWe all long to have a relationship with the one person with whom we will feel safe, secure, accepted, respected, cherished, wanted, and encouraged to be all we can be...shall I go on? Most seem to be either looking to find that ideal relationship or longing for it while feeling stuck in one that doesn't seem to live up to any of those expectations.
So many people I know see more faults than strengths in the person they have chosen to spend the rest of their life with. It's amazing to me that we can think positively in so many other areas of our lives…even giving most friends the courtesy of trying to think the best of them in the most trying of circumstances...yet when it comes to our spouse...we turn into "negative Nellie's". As a result, so many women, and men jump ship before really trying to figure out what is going on in their relationship. If you want to have a good relationship, a ten...then don't be a five...what are you bringing to your relationship? Maybe we should put into practice the verse that is referred to as the golden rule..."Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Luke 6:31. As clinical psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud says, " If we want the great things that relationships offer-like love, security, and growth-then we have to be capable of building love, providing security, and fostering growth. When we are, we can have the relationships we want. Until we are, great relationships will elude us.". That’ll preach! Imagine if we all took those words to heart and acted on them. All men and women...wow...can you imagine the results? If you are single and looking for "the one", don't allow all of your energy to be focused on the pursuit. Your energy needs to be focused on "being" the one. Pay attention to the person you are becoming. Do you have healthy relationship skills, healthy coping skills? Work on developing skills that will give you the kind of relationship you want. Yes, it is important to find the right person, but if you are not the right person you will just bring the other one down to your level. "Relationships fail when the skills to make them work are not present in one or both of the people involved."~ Dr. Henry Cloud, If you are married please know that I am not saying that if you work on yourself and practice treating your spouse the way you would want to be treated then all your marital problems will be solved. I know that it takes more than one to make marriage work. But you do have to start with you. In your relationship with your spouse, the only one you have control over is you. I have said this many times as I have taught and counseled women throughout the years...we cannot be our husband’s Holy Spirit! Last time I checked that job has already been filled by One who is so much more capable and powerful in His influence than we could ever hope to be. So what do we do?
Go humbly before God and ask for His wisdom and His knowledge in how best to grow in your relationship with God and in your relationship with your spouse. This is not a once-and-done deal. I’ve been praying for the entire 40 years of my marriage. I have learned that I can better love my spouse, and be more loveable when my relationship with God is my #1 priority.
Make sure you are taking the time to connect with each other. Communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs honestly and take the time to listen to his needs. You don’t have to be in complete agreement on every issue. Pick your battles wisely and learn to agree to disagree when necessary.
Stop expecting your spouse to think the way you do. God created each of you to be unique in so many ways. Learn how those differences can complement one another instead of competing against one another. Side note: No one can read your mind…not even your spouse. You need to let them know how and what you are thinking. Assumptions can be the cause of many an argument.
Want to feel more connected to your spouse? Make a habit of expressing thankfulness to your spouse for those things they do that you appreciate. Focus on those positive aspects of your relationship. Gratefulness breeds contentment. It’s so easy to see the things in your spouse that drive you crazy…all the quirks and irritating habits, traits, etc…but if you don’t have the power to change those things (and you don’t), then quit pointing them out to them and to yourself. Practice gratitude. Sometimes we have to dig to find the gold, but unless you are married to a narcissistic psychopath…it’s there. Just keep digging.
Life happens…there will be lots of ups and downs. Just when you feel settled, you move. Just when you get used to having kids around all.the.time. They move out…and then you miss having them around. Don’t stay stuck in past memories. Yes, revisit those memories from time to time. The good memories are nostalgic and the bad memories taught us lessons that were needed…but either way…don’t stay stuck in your memories. Move forward. Marriage is meant to be lived. All living things change. Adapting to change builds resilience in your marriage. Change brings adventure!
Not one of us operates in perfection. Mistakes happen. Sins are committed against one another. Slights occur. Grievances can be seared into our souls. I for one am so thankful that not only can I forgive, but I can be forgiven. We need to learn to let go of our grudges and work together to move forward. Forgiveness can be a hard issue. I’ve written an entire article about this…here’s an excerpt from the article entitled, Forgiveness…Why So Hard? When you refuse to forgive you are giving the person who hurt you permission to hurt you all over again...in your mind, your memory. Every. single. time. you dredge up the offense you are allowing yourself to be hurt all over again. Bitterness becomes embedded into your heart and soul and becomes a heavy burden. You see...when we forgive we are not letting the person get away with anything. We are not setting the offender free! It's okay to hold someone accountable that you have already forgiven. It is even okay, to set boundaries so that you cannot be wounded by that person in the same way again. However, it is NOT okay to hang onto the anger, bitterness, and hurt for the rest of your life. Practice forgiveness with your spouse. Forgiveness restores marriages. Forgiveness restores your soul and gives you hope for a better future and opens the way for a deep and abiding love. But…you may say, what if my spouse is not cooperating in all this? Sometimes it’s necessary to take more extreme measures. So, with the help of godly counsel, we create the crisis that may be needed to nudge our spouse to wake up to the fact that they have married a daughter of the KING OF KINGS, who is worthy of his adoration, respect, love, protection...need I go on? What are you looking for in order to be happy and content in your marriage? Where do you place all your expectations? On you, or your spouse? Should we be expecting our significant other to complete us? My husband is fond of pointing out my very own words on this matter. Words I once blurted out to him earlier in our marriage in frustration, "I can't be your everything...I will never be the one to completely fulfill you, nor should I try to be...only God can do that." Are you allowing God to fill in the empty spaces? Those spaces are God-shaped holes and no human being on this earth will ever be able to completely fill them up. So let your spouse off the hook and let God, in His perfect love and compassion, complete you. "I have loved you with an everlasting love" ~ GOD (Jeremiah 31:3) Blessings, Written by: Alexandria Brown![]() I recently watched a short that was going around the gram and it was talking about how marriage is not a 50/50 pursuit. It spoke on how the idea that the load of life and love and everything in between should always be split 50/50 is a lie. This was so contrary to everything I had ever been taught and yet what the lady spoke was leaking wisdom all over the place. Now, I don’t know if she was a Christ follower or not, but when the lady in the video spoke something connected in my head and in my heart. She spoke about how sometimes her or her spouse just have nothing left. The day, the circumstances, the experiences and expectations have just taken most or all that they had. At the end of the day they could never even try to muster up 20 let alone 50/50. And so that’s what they did…they started putting a number to it and recognizing it out loud to each other. Sometimes the husband would come home beat up and tore down and say he has 30 or 40 and she would muster up the 70 or 60. Other times She would come home and say she has 10, he would come up with the 90. I think you get the picture. After seeing this video I began thinking about it throughout the evening and there was such a release in my spirit. The Bible says, “Though one may be overcome, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecc 4:12. Marriage is a partnership, but what happens when one of the partners are to weak to stand? More often than I would like to admit, I find myself frustrated and overwhelmed with all of the tasks at hand. Annoyed that all of the things that I want done are not done and instead of my honey do list getting shorter it only gets longer (my own fault). Have you ever noticed that when you are already frustrated you notice more things that frustrate you? You come home and you see that the house is a mess. Then you start to notice the clothes all over the floor and then you notice the yard need mowed and on and on and on...Not you? Just me? What you focus on expands. When I am busy focusing on the things that need to get done all I can see are things that should be done and aren’t which in turn only creates more frustration and irritation. I miss all of the things that have been done, and more importantly I miss the person right in front of me! I’m so concerned with what he has not done that I miss what I should be, could be doing. I miss the opportunity to love him right where he is at. Marriage has never been about fixing your spouse despite what many people believe. Instead, it should about growing yourself. Allowing God to build and grow your character and heal you from past wounds to reveal the person you were created to be. When I am walking out MY identity the way God intended I no longer see the flaws and annoyances, rather I see my husband the way God sees my husband. Through love and compassion. It is then that I am able to see beyond the clothes on the floor and the honey do list to the brave, courageous, strong, provider and leader that he is. It’s about making me better. It’s about being there for the person, our person. It’s about loving each other enough to lift each other up not shove each other down. When we both are striving to out love each other, that’s when we truly win. So whether or not you decided to implement the number system or something else is up to you. I want to encourage you to find a way. Let’s get rid of the 50/50 mindset and begin to speak into your husband. Pray over your husband. Encourage your husband. We are women and we are strong. We don’t need permission to try and love our husbands better, we just find a way. It doesn’t have to be perfect. YOU, you don’t have to be perfect! And when we start to show up in a new way in our marriage watch God bless that sister! Give the Lord permission to to help you become a better wife and ask Him to reveal to you how He sees your husband and watch Him do mighty things in your marriage. Love you Sis, |
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