Apathy/Heart

Why is it sometimes that I struggle with feeling disconnected and out of touch? Why do I seem to distance myself from the people that love and care for me the most when things start getting too real? I don’t know about you, maybe this is not an issue for you and you do everything with a passionate heart at every point at every time. A heart that is open and real. A heart that chooses carefully and with intention every time. For me... I am finding that that is regularly my intention and not always the reality in my life.

Looking back, I find myself going through a familiar pattern throughout my life. There are times in my life when I have a desire, even a need and push to have all of these “things”. Not necessarily material things, but rather, the dream marriage, the dream relationships, the dream children, the dream job, volunteer work... you get the picture, the “Pinterest” life. There are even a few times in my life it seems like I have that. There are times that for a while I seem to have the bandwidth to accomplish all of the things, do all of the things, be all of the things...so I do. And then, I don’t. All of a sudden all of these things I thought that I had a handle on start to fall apart. Some slow while others come tumbling to ruble faster than I can even realize. Nothing goes as planned and I am left stressed out, beaten up and broken down.

About a year ago, a friend casually posted something on her social media, you know one of oh so many memes that makes its way viral. Maybe you saw it. It essentially gave us/me permission to not do and or be all of the things all the time, and be only who we are regardless of what social media and culture tell us we “should be and should do.” I still think back on that meme to this day as silly as it is. It reminds me to stop, take a breath and just be. It’s in that moment that I stop and set everything else aside that I remember where my strength, my passion come from and my priorities are realigned.

When I know what my yes’ are my no’s become automatic. I’m sure my pastor and mentors have been waiting for that to sink in for years. LOL I have been hearing some variation of that statement for what feels like forever now and rather than get it through my thick skull. I tend to always, in my excitement of the moment, respond with “absolutely” and quickly lunging forward into whatever has been presented in front of me, often times without a second thought. Then I am left in this same familiar place not long down the road. Instead of reaching out for help, I would allow myself to burnout. Instead of me doing anything with passion, commitment and followthrough, things I once thought I longed for are left half done with little, sometimes even no heart.

Colossians 3:23TPT
Put your heart and soul into every activity you do, as though you are doing it for the Lord himself and not merely for others.

This scripture has never been a source of condemnation when I read it. In fact, it is precisely the opposite. When I read that scripture (especially when I feel overwhelmed and burnt out) I feel as if the Father is inviting me into His lap and reminding me of where I am at. It is in that moment I am reminded of who He created me to be. When I know who I am it is easier for me to recognize my yes’. The things that He has asked me to prioritize in my life. When I know my yes’ my no’s become automatic...

I don’t want to be known for someone who does a whole lot of things and sometimes they work out. I want to be known for the things that I am passionate about. I want to be known for putting my heart and soul into whatever God is calling me to do and giving 110% every time. I want to be known for doing the things that I was created to be and do. Sometimes, for me at least, that is easier said than done.
​
That can not and does not happen if I allow myself to become so overwhelmed and over commited that I lose sight of my priorities and the things that God has placed in front of me. I have to choose to diligently, passionately and purposefully protect my passions and priorities in order to leave that lasting legacy. I don’t want to be busy for busy sake. I want to be passionately purposeful for what God has placed on my heart.

Most of us know the scripture let our ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and our ‘No’ be ‘No’. What if we lay aside the image culture has created of what we should be and what we should do, and get back to what really matters. Will you do that with me? Take some time this week and seek Holy Spirits guidance about whether or not we are doing all that we do with the passion He has gifted us with. Is there anything we need to change?
​
And sis, trust Him. He will always guide you, we just have to be looking, listening and expecting.
Love you! Alexandria

---

Written By: Alexandria Brown

For more from Alexandria, visit her website: www.alexandriabrown.org

We want to connect with you and encourage you! Click here to join our community of women over at our Sisterhood Conversations page!

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash